At 2 AM,
I was thinking,
Thinking of rainbows,
clouds, stars, sunsets
I was thinking about the sky
and I felt excited,
And then, I thought of walls,
bricks, roofs, doors,
I thought of home
and then, I felt warm.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Sunday, April 5, 2015
You, Me, Us
I don't miss you like I 'miss' you
like I've never seen you for a long while
like you're living beyond several seas
because you're just there with the reach of the hand
you're there at the range of my gaze
Definitely I don't 'miss' me as far as I know
like someone who has been lost and searching
like I've been someone I'm not
because I've been in my best lately, striving, believing
and for the first time, I think I know what I want
I miss us, clearly I miss us
I don't know if 'miss' is the best fitting word
to describe something I'm not sure if I really did obtain
but clearly, I'm longing for something
not just about you, not just about me, but us
like I've never seen you for a long while
like you're living beyond several seas
because you're just there with the reach of the hand
you're there at the range of my gaze
Definitely I don't 'miss' me as far as I know
like someone who has been lost and searching
like I've been someone I'm not
because I've been in my best lately, striving, believing
and for the first time, I think I know what I want
I miss us, clearly I miss us
I don't know if 'miss' is the best fitting word
to describe something I'm not sure if I really did obtain
but clearly, I'm longing for something
not just about you, not just about me, but us
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Somewhere Not Over the Rainbow
"Maselang bahaghagi sa aking isipan, wag kang mabahala, di kita malilimutan, paglipas ng ulan ay mapapangiti ang araw, wag sana mawala ang..."
Nabihag akong muli ng bahaghari.
Sa tinagal-tagal na panahon, sa dinami-dami ko nang nasabi sa blog na ito in the past, I am about to say the same thing.
Ikaw nanaman. Heto nanaman. Hindi na ako makaalis sa landas mo. Para akong isang preso na willing bumalik sa kanyang selda nang walang pumipilit.
Isa yan sa madami kong narealize kagabi.
Sorry, ang gulo gulo ko kamakailan. Hanggang ngayon hindi ako settled. Tinatanggap ko na lang yung fact as of the moment na leaning ako towards you rather than yung alam ng madami.
Again, go with the flow. No pressure. Enjoy what we have. Ewan ko. Ito na yata iyong pinakamalapit na place na narating ko patungo sa'yo. Kaya, hindi ko maiwasan malet go kasi ito yung gusto makamit ng past self ko. Hi past self, I'm doing fine. I'll try not to screw things up. Though, ang hirap.
Bahala na. Long way to go pa ito. Madami pang magaganap. Kahit itong current self ko, magiging future past self din ng future self ko. Hi future self, hindi ko mapredict kung ano gusto mo pero inaasa ko na sa iyo to. Good luck!
Nabihag akong muli ng bahaghari.
Sa tinagal-tagal na panahon, sa dinami-dami ko nang nasabi sa blog na ito in the past, I am about to say the same thing.
Ikaw nanaman. Heto nanaman. Hindi na ako makaalis sa landas mo. Para akong isang preso na willing bumalik sa kanyang selda nang walang pumipilit.
Isa yan sa madami kong narealize kagabi.
Sorry, ang gulo gulo ko kamakailan. Hanggang ngayon hindi ako settled. Tinatanggap ko na lang yung fact as of the moment na leaning ako towards you rather than yung alam ng madami.
Again, go with the flow. No pressure. Enjoy what we have. Ewan ko. Ito na yata iyong pinakamalapit na place na narating ko patungo sa'yo. Kaya, hindi ko maiwasan malet go kasi ito yung gusto makamit ng past self ko. Hi past self, I'm doing fine. I'll try not to screw things up. Though, ang hirap.
Bahala na. Long way to go pa ito. Madami pang magaganap. Kahit itong current self ko, magiging future past self din ng future self ko. Hi future self, hindi ko mapredict kung ano gusto mo pero inaasa ko na sa iyo to. Good luck!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Mistake No. 3
Fool.
This is not the first time you made this mistake.
Unfortunately, it isn't the second either.
So then, how many more mistakes do you have to have to learn?
You have it.
The gold is in your hands, within your grasp, at the tip of your fingertips.
Why exchange it for some other shiny rocks, or for some broken glass pieces, or for pyrite?
Why look for something that isn't yours?
More importantly, why throw something that you have for something that you don't?
Do you enjoy tugging an invisible rope?
Do you expect winning a game without even joining?
If not, what is it, then?
What do you get from trying to cross a road and stopping in the middle of it?
What do you get from driving a car in full speed with your eyes closed?
You can't defy gravity.
When you try to jump, you'd fall.
It's a law.
So think about it, you idiot.
You knew where this is headed.
Oh yes, you knew very well what's there at the bottom.
Why wait for something you know you'd regret?
Oh, I forgot, you're a fool.
So be it.
Choose.
Hit the bottom or don't jump.
Cross at once or don't cross at all.
Open your eyes or don't drive at all.
Find a cure or prevent it.
Accept it or stop it.
It's that easy.
I know you knew that.
In fact, you're not a fool at all.
So stop pretending to be one.
We only have a limited number of fingers to count our mistakes.
Do not attempt to use them all.
This is not the first time you made this mistake.
Unfortunately, it isn't the second either.
So then, how many more mistakes do you have to have to learn?
You have it.
The gold is in your hands, within your grasp, at the tip of your fingertips.
Why exchange it for some other shiny rocks, or for some broken glass pieces, or for pyrite?
Why look for something that isn't yours?
More importantly, why throw something that you have for something that you don't?
Do you enjoy tugging an invisible rope?
Do you expect winning a game without even joining?
If not, what is it, then?
What do you get from trying to cross a road and stopping in the middle of it?
What do you get from driving a car in full speed with your eyes closed?
You can't defy gravity.
When you try to jump, you'd fall.
It's a law.
So think about it, you idiot.
You knew where this is headed.
Oh yes, you knew very well what's there at the bottom.
Why wait for something you know you'd regret?
Oh, I forgot, you're a fool.
So be it.
Choose.
Hit the bottom or don't jump.
Cross at once or don't cross at all.
Open your eyes or don't drive at all.
Find a cure or prevent it.
Accept it or stop it.
It's that easy.
I know you knew that.
In fact, you're not a fool at all.
So stop pretending to be one.
We only have a limited number of fingers to count our mistakes.
Do not attempt to use them all.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
You and I Both
"Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of, and others just read of, and if you could see me now, well then, I'm almost finally out of words."
What a mess, a beautiful one. :)) I don't know where this is headed. I don't know where I am to begin with. But then, I'm happy, at the same time, guilty. I'm not doing anything and nothing is going on but I feel like I'm robbing a bank or something. I never thought something like this will come. But then, I don't know what to do. How can something this wrong feel good at the same time?
Darn it you, helpless child. You're hopeless. It's okay to drop everything and go full-speed ahead, closed-eyes, but never forget to be prepared for any consequence. You don't know, you might be headed for a cliff. And in the end, no one is there at the bottom.
What a mess, a beautiful one. :)) I don't know where this is headed. I don't know where I am to begin with. But then, I'm happy, at the same time, guilty. I'm not doing anything and nothing is going on but I feel like I'm robbing a bank or something. I never thought something like this will come. But then, I don't know what to do. How can something this wrong feel good at the same time?
Darn it you, helpless child. You're hopeless. It's okay to drop everything and go full-speed ahead, closed-eyes, but never forget to be prepared for any consequence. You don't know, you might be headed for a cliff. And in the end, no one is there at the bottom.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Disorder
Nagkatime ulit kaya nakapagsagot ulit ng mga random test after a long time. And, I got this:
Disorder | Rating
ParanoidDisorder | High
SchizoidDisorder | Moderate
SchizotypalDisorder | High
AntisocialDisorder | Moderate
BorderlineDisorder | High
HistrionicDisorder | Moderate
NarcissisticDisorder | Moderate
AvoidantDisorder | High
DependentDisorder | Moderate
Obsessive-CompulsiveDisorder | Moderate
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html
Disorder | Rating
ParanoidDisorder | High
SchizoidDisorder | Moderate
SchizotypalDisorder | High
AntisocialDisorder | Moderate
BorderlineDisorder | High
HistrionicDisorder | Moderate
NarcissisticDisorder | Moderate
AvoidantDisorder | High
DependentDisorder | Moderate
Obsessive-CompulsiveDisorder | Moderate
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html
Consistent sa dating results sa ibang disorder test na nasagutan ko.
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