Stalking Like A Pro (CW10 Paper)

Stalking is one of my greatest skills. I don’t know how but I’ve come to a point where I can learn odd things about random people in the weirdest ways possible.  Sometimes, it feels like some information pops out of nowhere and then, I keep note of it, thinking it might come in handy in the future. And if it did, I am always amazed at how these information turn into dots that connect to one another and eventually form a new picture.

Yes, I might seem like a professional. I stalk not only for myself but for my friends. It’s a nice hobby and pastime. I gather information through different means such as social networking sites. I browse at the profile of the person and the friends of the person on Facebook. Another stalking technique is to Google the name, student number or any information and finding related links. It does not end there. You can get information through common friends by asking questions but avoiding suspicions. You don’t want to give them any idea about the client. However, there are times that the situation gets more complicated and it comes to a point that I am not sure how to handle it anymore. This is one of those times.

It was 2011 and the semestral break was fast approaching.

I rushed down the stairs of the Quezon Avenue station looking for a jeepney going to the university. I was feeling uneasy, freaking out about my grades on a subject that I thought I was going to fail. The thought of it bugged me that whole time that I didn’t notice any person around me since the start of the day. But then, I noticed a guy facing the floor just across me in the jeep. His puzzled look caught my attention. Where was he headed? What was wrong with him? I didn’t know. But this curiosity changed my state of mind from being a panicking paranoid to a wondering kid. I stared at him more intensely while he was not looking and noticed his bright eyes and his innocent face.  He somewhat looked like my first crush back at fifth grade. It might be the reason why I was at ease with him. I don’t know. I can’t tell.

The jeep was already near my destination. It stopped by the FC and I stepped out of the vehicle with a bit of hesitation. Wait! He also left the jeep and walked towards the same direction as mine. I didn’t know why, but I felt a mild sense of relief. Different thoughts had been going in my mind. Was he also an EEE student? Well, what are the odds? Sad to say, I stopped in front of EEE but he continued to walk straight ahead. Maybe, I got the wrong idea. But still I asked myself, will we be able to see each other again?

This is quite funny. I never thought we would, but we did see each other again during enrollment. I thought I knew every face in EEE but how come I have never seen him before? Maybe he is a freshman. Well apparently, he was. I was able to confirm it when we had an event for freshmen the next month and he attended it. Okay. This seemed weird. I didn’t want to be mistaken for a creepy pedophile. No way. After that, I tried to forget everything about that guy. It all ended there, I thought.

Few days passed and I spent some time stalking for others’ sake. On another side of the story, I remember my new roommate at the boarding house telling me stories about her high school crush. She told me how they met and how they joined contests together. I wanted to tease her by stalking the guy because he also studies here in UP. I learned different things about his guy and I used it to blackmail her for fun. For example, I dared her that I can get this guy apply to my organization even if he said he will never apply. But then, at the end of the day, I didn’t have any intention to treasure or be attached to those information.

There are also times that I learn about other people by accident. For example, when I spent time with my orgmates in trying to put up a dormant provincial organization, the usual questions that people ask when they first meet is “What is your course? Do you know this or that person?” Then, they asked me a familiar name whom is their cousin who also studies in EEE. I’ve really heard it before but I was too into other things that time to think it through. I guess he was one of those guys that I saw in the EEE students list or a friend of friends. Oh well, I just said I didn’t know but they still continued to talk about him. I didn’t want to be rude so I paid attention.

The next day, just when I walked out of my boarding house and had a long walk to my first class, I began to think about random things. Well, it was a typical thing for me to do. Then, I was reminded of the boy at the jeep on the way to UP. I smiled at the thought of it and tried to remember his face more clearly. Then, I remembered another thing, and another, and another. Yes, information turned into dots that interconnected in my mind. And yes, he was the same guy that my roommate likes. He was also the same guy as my orgmates’ cousin. Right then and there, everything made sense to me and it was amazing.

After that, I was quite problematic about it. Yes, I think he already knew me because of all of our common friends inside and outside EEE, but I wasn’t sure about that.  We weren’t introduced properly so I didn’t know what to do whenever we happen to pass by each other at the stairs or at the corridor. Will I say hi? Will I say I know him? I don’t know. I don’t want to be called “feeling close”. This is the time that things went a little weird. Anyway, I never forgot the dare about making him apply and I thought it would be fun. I asked my other friends who were his blocmates to invite him. For one semester he did not show interest. The next one, he did, and it was a miracle. And guess what, this is where the atmosphere became even weirder. Because of our common friends in EEE, we started to hang out together without directly talking to each other. It was really, really awkward being friends with the one you stalked. Imagine how I refrain from telling all the things I know from him and pretending I don’t know anything and hoped not to appear suspicious.

One time, our barkada went out for dinner. We all rode the same jeepney home but in the end, only the two of us were left. The scene was quite familiar, a déjà vu, but unlike the last time, we are now both aware of one another’s presence.  I didn’t know what to talk about. I thought I might say the wrong things or ask the wrong questions. But to break the ice, I still asked him when he started to know me. He said that even before he applied, he already knew me because of my roommate. Thank goodness. That was the start of my first comfortable conversation with him. I told him some of my knowledge about him but of course, I did not tell everything. I can’t do that until now. I didn’t tell him about seeing him in one of the jeep right before he remembered we met. But I guess, It was really a relief.

Well, we are still good friends up until now without any malice or awkwardness involved. He finished the application process soon enough and became my orgmate as well. Then, I ended up with a thought that stalking is a good tool in knowing people but we can never get to know a person through stalking as much as we learn about them from themselves.  With that thought, the guy and I continue to know each other more and enjoy each other’s company along with our other friends, and I guess, that’s the one that matters.

ME

"Who are you?"

One of the most common questions in the world, yet, whenever I am asked, I can't find the right answer. It is really hard to describe myself. Well, I am not sure if I really know myself. But then, as time pass by, as I try to meet more people, as I try to take more risks, I learn a little bit more about me. And for this, I'm going to describe the current me, what I have been through and what I know of myself so far.

Honestly, the last few days went really, really tough for me. Yeah. I thought I know myself well. I was at the peak of everything in life. I was really, really confident because I know, I'm fighting for something that I have my heart onto. Until, BOOM! All I've done has blown to smithereens. I thought I lost everything. I thought I was lost. I took risks and done things I've never done before and it felt like jumping off a cliff headfirst.

From far away, I want to laugh at myself for sometimes being such a fool. I should know, we can't please everyone. I should know, no other people can really know how you truly feel except for yourself. And I guess, that is one of the qualities we alone know about ourselves: how we feel at the moment.

Others may know things about you that you yourself didn't know but then, it is still you. But feelings are within, and it points us to who we really are. Though, it change through time and sometimes, being forgotten as well. And at that moment, I was sad, hurt and tired. I might have lost my direction.

Until now, I haven't fully recovered from all the things that happened to me recently. What have I done? Oh, well. I can't stay falling apart forever, anyway. That is why I took summer classes: to look for myself. I want to find alternatives, to look for other interest and to somewhat ease the pain.

You might find this quite weird but truly, all I want is to share a part of me and I thought, by sharing how I feel at the moment will help you know who I am. And i thought, that is priceless.

Knowing one's self is an endless process. It is a continuous search of identity. I have been in this journey for a while. And I won't stop as long as I believe there is hope. There is hope as long as I am alive. Yeah, I know I lost my way for a while, but I know, I going back up and find my track.

Start Of The World

Ayan, sa sobrang katamaran ko magblog nalagpasan ko na ang "End of the World" post ko about last sem pati ang super birthday blogpost ko.

Well, di naman siguro sa tamad talaga ako pero baka it's just that I'm so contented with what I have.

ANYWAY, ayaw ko na siguro talakayin pa ang end of the world na yan masyado. at baka ung birthday birthday na yan kapag maisipan ko na lang ulit haha. Kundi, babanggitin ko na lang siya sa susunod kong ipopost, Start of the World. Total, di naman totoong nag-end ang world ng 2012.

Ireremind ko lang ang sarili ko at kung sino man ang makakabasa ng four season ng 2012 life ko na parang fruit punch.

Sayang naman ung effects nung teaser na huli kong blogpost dapat ung orasan un eh tapos tumigil sa 5, di na umandar kasi bagsak ung 5 haha, gets? Anyway, eto na lang. baligtarin ang orasan.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!




.abangan.
(this time i mean it)

False Pretense

Intensity. I can’t believe I can stand it. No! I CAN’T stand it. It was just a pretense of what I really felt. In every time I got the guts to ignore every single thing up to her fingertips, I also got that weak spot to turn around and shed a tear. I don’t know how it happened and I knew we just felt that same intensity.
The day she was born was fast approaching. No one can forget her day but this one looks like a different case. Every year, I guess, she gets to celebrate. She always had plans of it but she was too late. Coincidence or fate it might be, but it happenings can’t overlap on the day in between the two’s. Then, we get to serve whoever was the first.
I got the feeling that it was just a factor but the true reason is much deeper. One reason might have been within me. I realized it when we get to confess our apologies to each other for having a huge wall in between the last two days. It was heartfelt. She was something not to doubt of embracing again. I really want her back. Come to think of it, I never really said goodbye.
I was revived. I didn’t remember anything at all. The tears, the feelings, all of them are gone. It felt as if our friendship was refreshingly new and also comfortably known. Finally, I got the chance to greet her personally and give a gift. No other had the idea of anything about the past days.

The Best There Is

She didn't catch my attention the very first time I saw her. Even so, she might have a magic that lets me not forget seeing her the first times. I appreciated her more as I knew her better.
I even remember her words when I was planning to leave one place in the classroom where we used to hang out, she said “stay”. I’ll never forget that. It was easy to make her laugh that caused me to smile. From then on, I enjoyed her company. We asked each other of our likes, dislikes, and a couple more of things. I had opened secrets to her that she kept until now and she had told me stories that kept me amazed until now.
We were birds flying through the same path, as I thought we were. We share the same likes and helped each other at times. But after months, life gets tighter and tighter and suffocates us both. We get to spend chosen times and it even took a lot of effort to make each of it happen. I also noticed that we began to choose different things and even spend time to opposite ones.
I said I was wrong. We were not taking the same path after all. And one day, fast approaching, we will really be apart from each other. I hate thinking about it but I try to accept it. I don’t want to get disappointed at the end but I guess it can’t be helped. From that time, I just did my best to be with her. She was the best of the bests among my best friends. I spend time with her as if I wanted to stop the ticking of that second arm. In those ways, I know, we were the same. We can still be those birds flying together. Even if that giant storm comes, I’ll be there to share a feather. Whatever happens, I won’t let anything to be thrown away and be erased by a storm.

Distracted

I was convinced so I did. A cost of 600 pesos should worth it. I took the test, my future was on line. And I didn’t want the outcome.
De La Salle University- Taft is a well-known school. I got a few friends studying there. Ate Micah was one of those who convinced me. When my mother let me chose between Ateneo and La Salle, I chose La Salle. It was my second time to fix forms. The first one was in UP. But now, I had worked hard to prepare a good scholarship form because I really can’t study there without a scholarship. We can’t afford. I really wanted to pass the test and be a scholar of it. Ate Micah was very supportive and even asked me already to stay in her place when I passed.
Then there, we passed our forms personally. All of my forms were approved unlike my companion’s. The schedule of our test was given. After that, all I need was preparation. I guess it’s the only thing I didn’t have. I never knew what went wrong.
I was with Dianne and Chala. Before the test, we ate first in Tokyo Tokyo and stayed there for a few more time. Then, we waited for Tenten before it was about to start. Chala and I were roommates. I am sitting in the second row. I was so nervous because I don’t know what to do. Plus, the room was like North Pole with its temperature. And then, it started.
I can’t concentrate. I can’t fill each hole properly. Each question was like reading forever. It continued until the end of the 1st period. J left more than fifteen questions unanswered. The same happened with the other parts of the tests. I was in dismay.
“Did I really do my best?” I asked myself. My target was to get a scholarship and NOT play around. I even did worse than what I’ve done in UPCAT. I didn’t anymore hope I’ll pass. All of my plans and dreams with that school, until now, is just plain dust. But then, I still wanted to pass.

Along Came a Poor Man

Majority out of ten was a beginner. Maybe, that’s the secret why it felt great. There was this tall girl and small boy, high-pitched and low-pitched, trained performer and 1st time performer, short hair to long, dark complexion to fair, to say everything will just cover a lot of space. We must have a very skilled coach to handle the extremes.
Two weeks before the contest week, we were already excused. First days were tough because we got to have that catchy moves and fill the 8-minute time limit. The voice has no problem. We didn’t practice much for it. We GOT it. I thought everything was okay.
One time, we failed to meet the standards and so, we were in the middle of riot when they thought of switching contestants. We didn’t want that. We worked harder and harder until, they asked us to stay. We worked harder but the humor was always there. We practiced more but more often caught fooling around. But we were in that scorching hot stage as the contest approach. We even didn’t bother to pay those costly clothes my mother at first, didn’t like. But then, she was so supportive so she agreed.
Then, there it was, the contest proper. I am so nervous because it was also a first time for me. True, I get to perform but not in a contest outside the school. We waited. Ours was the last part of the program until the time came we positioned ourselves at the stage.
We had a lot of mistakes but it didn’t matter. We can already see the crowd watching attentively and reacting actively with each stunt. I saw the judge smile at us and I even heard their positive conversation. Audience was just so surprised because it was so different from the preceding performances. They were too busy to see the errors. Then, we saw our coach smiled and put her thumbs up.
The next performances were also mixed up. Perhaps different schools had different impression of the name. It was really not famous, not even my mother knew it. After that, we get to change our clothes and watch the rest.
Hours passed and there was not a single clue of our contest. We were in the assembly area and waited. When it came, all our fingers were crossed. We were hoping, hoping a lot. When we heard of the runner-ups, it made us hope more and we got nervous more. Then, when the champ was announced, I can’t help but jump when our school’s name was mentioned. I was so happy. Every one of us was. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
Two weeks after was a judgment day. I already had an idea that I’m one of those to be removed so I told myself I won’t cry. But it can’t be helped. Well, after that, I’m through with it. I just can’t avoid those echoing questions because many were shocked about it. For me, I wanted our school to win so whatever I can help, even if I’m there or not, I will. I did my part. Maybe, it wasn’t enough.

I'm With You

"It's a damn cold night, trying to figure out this life. Won't you take me by the hand, take me somewhere new, I don't know who you are but I'm.....I'm with you." -I'm with you, Avril Lavigne

That is exactly how I felt when I first met him. Well, I don't consider him as a crush nor consider me being in love. Shall we define the feeling as "inspiration" to where it is the nearest? Now, shall I proceed to the details?

Once, there was a young girl but not little for her age, to be specific, she was nine years old. She was to enter a new school on fifth grade, a very different school from what she had used to. And so, the first day came and she finally met a set of new faces. The teachers and the administrators of the school was welcoming and warm. How about the classmates? They had a first bad impression of her. She was not accepted and even blamed for being bossy, selfish, ill-mannered and perhaps all of the negative traits that could be imagined. She thought it was the worst days of her life as she compared it with that"damn cold night."

Until one afternoon, she went down the stairs and a 6th grader greeted the girl and asked for her name. She said "Katrina" and from then on, they became friends for every afternoon they meet. The boy didn't know that she cheers up the girl in the middle of her nightmares. All he did was smile and greet and talk to her cheerfully. That is why there is no doubt that the girl was "inspired" by that boy.

Time passed, the girl had the strength to prove the people whom she really is and whom she was not. She was finally accepted step by step and not even one knows how. She kept it to herself as it grows inside.

Well, she told herself that she wants to be like the boy. She wanted to help others by cheering them up and letting them know she will be a friend to them. Actually, the boy himself, even if she considered him a friend, she doesn't know much about him. In short, he was a "stranger" to her.

Well, more time passed and the girl learned more about the boy. He was not so famous among the girls but he was a consistent 1st honor. She also noticed his amazing performing talent and interest in sports. And she still liked him when she reached 6th grade and the boy being the valedictorian of their batch. Since then, they became busy with other stuffs so they failed to communicate but the feeling stayed and still no one knows, not even her own best friends. Well, there may be flaws to other people but she was teased to another person and covered her emotions.

And so, the graduation of the girl was a day before a program called "Celebrate Writing." It ended early but she was not able to go home early as she wait for her fetcher. Actually, there were two who were left, the girl and the boy. They shared moments together and the only difference was to the boy, it's nothing and to the girl, it's something. Then, he was fetched first saying "see you next year?" The girl took a deep breath and said, "I won't be studying here anymore" He blinked and respond with "I see." It was a short conversation and it was the last time she talked to him personally.

The girl graduated the next day and she passed for the school and so she would be away but she still chatted with him rarely about nonsense things that make sense to her. Then, the feeling depleted, it won't do any good. She let time pass but still had the boy as an inspiration but not as much as before. Now, the girl was known to be me, counting the days she doesn't want to count. She knew that the graduation day of the 4th year batch of her school is the same day as the boy's graduation. As usual, he was an unbeatable valedictorian. She thought of the possibilities because even a few, she still cares for the boy and she's afraid they'll never meet again afterwards. She knew herself that she will miss the stranger who took her hand and brought her somewhere new that damn cold night.

A Father He Will Always Be

Things happen to our lives unplanned. Neither choosing my father is part of it. But then, I am so thankful I have. And, as I grow, I began to see what kind of person my father is, deeper and deeper. Now, times come when he is far away and I began to think of him as an observant person, supportive father and a leader that has one word.

One time, I looked at him looking at his people's work. He observes every move yet, no words are said. And if he is asked, he can say a lot of things about a certain person. I remember, I see him talk to workers and so, I realized his words are straight making him a good leader of businesses. My father is very supportive. There are times I ask permission to him and as long as I can do it, he does not go against, yet, he gives advise.

I apreciate his actions such as these. Because these things, these traits help us in life. And dad, he is a source of inspiration for all of us in this aspect. I love him as other daughters like me do. Because I won't ask another as he is anyway. A father he was, a father he will always be to me.

Digging My Very Roots

I am Katrina Anne Marc Riman and perhaps, you know that. I have an older sister named Ma. Ann Dominique Riman and younger brothers named Stig Marcson Lance, Marcus Andjerome and Markuz Venedict Riman. We are now in Cavite where Mother has given us birth. My parents are Marcos Riman and Liwanag Cabrera. My father is from Cavite and works as a determined businessman. My mother was born in Makati and is a hardworking housewife. They met in Manila who knew each other as boardmates.

My father's father, Gregorio Riman was the child of Romeo Riman and Macaria Ognes who are housewife and a farmer and all lived in Cavite. My father's mother, Matilde Maloloy-on is from Cebu. Her father, Tiborsyo Maloloy-on was a farmer from Masbate. Tiborsyo's father, Gil Maloyloy-on was a fisherman from the same place. Matilde's mother. Ropina Rosales is the daughter of Banong Rosales, a farmer and Ularia Legaspi, a housewife who all are from Cebu. Gregorio was a farmer and a blacksmith who went to Manila and met Matilde who works as a vendor.

Meanwhile, my mother is the child of Ponciano Cabrera, an OFW originated on Bulacan and Gloria Santos, from Pampanga. Ponciano was the child of Agustin Cabrera, a carpenter and Inang Cabanding who are all from Bulacan. My mother's mother, Gloria, was the child of Tomas Santos, a Filipino Spanish who is a US veteran soldier who originated from Nueva Ecija and Consuelo Cuyugan from Pampanga. Consuelo was the daugther of Gorge Cuyugan and Ropina Santiago who are both from Pampanga.

Each of who are still alive goes to different places and a blood has been carried from our roots. Come to think of it. Each family like I do has come a long way and a long way will it still go.

REACTION:The Making of s Scientist

As I read it, I realized that this people met different things yet they all find success. They failed on something they wanted but then became a way for them to be where they are right now. THey said that the support of family is important and inspiration from other people as well.
According to the article, it all started when they begun to wonder and got interested on something. They say seminars and special schools are not that essential in sccess but they also help on being successful.

Well, I agree with this.

An abstract

Construction sites are major contributors to nonpoint source (NPS) pollution. However, a lack of personnel to enforce erosion control regulations and limited voluntary compliance means that few developers apply effective erosion control.
Research
Problem New approaches are needed to increase erosion control on construction sites if this source of NPS pollution is to be significantly reduced.
Body This study tests whether an economic advantage exists for developers who use vegetative cover for erosion control, independent of advantages gained in addressing environmental or regulatory concerns. Improving residential lot appearance from muddy brown to green grass may increase the appeal of the lot to buyers.
Results A market survey shows that homebuyers and realtors perceive vegetated lots to be worth more than unvegetated lots, and this increased value exceeds the cost of seeding.
Conclusion Thus, developers can now be encouraged to invest in vegetative cover because of the potentially high return on the investment.

An abstract

Construction sites are major contributors to nonpoint source (NPS) pollution. However, a lack of personnel to enforce erosion control regulations and limited voluntary compliance means that few developers apply effective erosion control.
Research
Problem New approaches are needed to increase erosion control on construction sites if this source of NPS pollution is to be significantly reduced.
Body This study tests whether an economic advantage exists for developers who use vegetative cover for erosion control, independent of advantages gained in addressing environmental or regulatory concerns. Improving residential lot appearance from muddy brown to green grass may increase the appeal of the lot to buyers.
Results A market survey shows that homebuyers and realtors perceive vegetated lots to be worth more than unvegetated lots, and this increased value exceeds the cost of seeding.
Conclusion Thus, developers can now be encouraged to invest in vegetative cover because of the potentially high return on the investment.

The Air (a continuation of the preceeding post)

I cannot portray it properly but I am pertaining to air in movement or not...


I love it for I can relate to it....

One thing I like abou it is wherever you go, Though you can't see it, you can feel it and you know it's there...... it is the same as what I wanted to be.....

The wind blows freely, it dances to its own music with its own costume.....

It is the reason why seagulls fly and why trees sway. It is one reason that make our world not a boring place.

One more is that the air is what we need to breath though we really don't see that we keep on taking more of it until its gone..... it's like, sometimes what good things it does was not recognized by others until the time it is lost.....

and a lot more.... Its just that I feel like the wind....

Advance Statistics

Problem:
What is the effect of monosodium glutamate to the lives of white mice?

Objective:
To determine the effect of mosodium glutamate to the lives of white mice.

Materials:
10 white mice, monosodium glutamate, 2 cage, water, grains
Procedure: Put 5 mice each cage. Feed the mice in the 1st cage with grains everyday. Feed the mice at the other cage with monosodium glutamate same amount as the grains. Provide each cage with water to drink. Everyday for 5 days, observe changes and record it.