#DescribeYourFriendsIn1Word

Non-existent. Kahit na ilang beses ko ideny, may mga circumstances talaga na laging nagpaparealize sakin ng katotohanang ito.

It has always been me alone who's been thinking, cherishing, remembering how things went and going. Pero at the end of the day, I am alone. Yes, never ko pa nakita na kasama ako sa big picture ng mga tinuturing kong friends. It's like I'm not always part of anyone's life. As if I won't stay with the for the rest of it. As if my presence is a joke. "Ah, andiyan lang iyan. That won't matter." I don't really matter. It doesn't really matter if I'm there or not. Tapos, heto ako, dreaming of being with you guys. How did I end up to be matampuhin without having any stable friends. It sucks. Having no one to consider you in planning. Having no one to remember you in a memory that you remember so well. Being left behind without anyone noticing. Di ko talaga alam kung anong nasa isip niyo. "She's gonna be fine!" Ganoon ba? Well, I'm not. Hindi ko nga alam if naiisip niyo ko in the first place.

Ang hirap lang maging invisible.

Tapos, sasabihin niyo, I have to be honest with my feelings. Chill lang ako. Sasabihin niyo, hindi ito totoo at overthinking lang ako. Then why does it happen ALL the time? Ilang beses ko na ito pinalagpas sa buhay ko pero nakakabanas na kasi. O baka nga tama kayo na hindi ito totoo and maybe, I always end up with the wrong set of people. Pero saan pa kasi ako tatakbo, kung hindi sa mga tinuturing kong kaibigan? I don't know what is wrong with me. And no one cares to tell me.Mahirap kumausap ng hangin. Salita ka ng salita, hindi mo alam kung may nakikinig talaga. Kung meron man, hindi mo alam kung nagmamatter talaga.

Baka naman sinasabi niyo ang babaw ko. Oo, for the short term, ang babaw pero kung buong buhay mo ganto, minsan naiipon tapos sasabog ka na lang minsan minsan. Is what I want too much too ask?

Hai.

May mga panahon talaga na ganito na nalulungkot lang talaga ako. Lalo pa ngayong linggo, kapag inassess ko lahat ng nangyari sa akin, feeling ko maaalala ko lagi iyong mga nangyari and I will cherish them pero sa ibang kasama ko, they will forget na andon ako sa scene. Trust me, it happens almost all the time.

Proven and tested ko na yata itong pagiging imbisibol.