The Truth

Ang totoo niyan, hindi ko alam.


Naiipit ako sa gitna ng aking kagustuhang bumagal ang oras at bumilis ang takbo ng mundo. Gusto ko sanang lumipas ang mga araw na parang buhangin na ihihipin ng hangin hanggang sa ito'y tuluyang maging parte nito. Gusto ko din sanang wag nang dumating ang bukas na tulad ng pagdating ng ngayon. Ang dami dami kong gusto, pero wala naman talaga akong magagawa kung hindi sumabay sa tunay na daloy ng panahon.

Pag-asa

Asa pa.


Wala na akong ginawa kung hindi ang umasa. Patuloy na lamang akong kumakapit sa mga bagay nang di ko man lang alam kung mayroon ba talaga akong pinanghahawakan. Nakakasawa din. Nakakapagod. Pero nandito kasi ako sa punto na ayaw ko umayaw.

Oo, ngayon kasi kahit anong hirap na ang dinaranas ko, alam ko gusto ko ito. Grabe lang ha. Kung kailan ganito ako, tsaka ko nararamdaman na gusto na akong paalisin dito. Hindi ko na alam saan ako pupulutin. Hindi ko na alam kung may patutunguhan pa ang mga bagay na pinaghihirapan ko. May silbi pa ba ang mga bagay na pinahahalagahan ko.

Minsan na nga lang ako lumaban tapos ganito pa. Kailan ko ba talaga makakamit ang bagay na para talaga sa akin. Kailan?

Haha. Alam ko walang makakasagot ng tanong ko. Di ko alam. Haha. Iyak na lang.


Malalaman ko din yan. Naiinip lang siguro ako ngayon. Makakatikim din ako ng tunay na kaligayahan.

When Nothing Goes Right

Go left. :)

Thoughts of That, On Second Thought

On second thought, I want to live. I want to live no matter how painful it is to live. Well, it won't be living without it.


And I'm thankful that I lived. :)

Thoughts of That

Mukhang di malayo. Suicidal thoughts.




And I'm being honest. Sometimes I think I should just die.

Ignorance

Ignore me once and I'll insist. Ignore me again and I'll never bother you again.

Yes, that is one of my weakness. Even if it's unintentional, I'll never ever initiate another conversation with you again. And i'd be dying inside thinking what's wrong. And I'd be breaking down within to know if we're okay.

Yes, you can ignore me, since that is how i am treated all the time. I never knew what people think of me because whenever I ask they can't say a thing. Maybe, they don't notice. Then, that is because they don't pay attention. Si it might not really matter to them at all.

In the end, no one cares. I am ignored.

In terms of memories, there are times I knew every detail. I knew that I was there. I knew how others are there. Then, in another story from another person, it's funny how I ended up invisible. I'm nothing but soundless air in their picture.

No one really cares.

And I think, when I die, when i disappear, no one will notice. Life will just continue for them. And so what?

No one really cares.

I won't end up in any history. I will just disappear out of thin air. Because I am nobody. And the day that I'll die won't make any difference with the day I was born.

Because no one cares.

And why should I care? I'll choose not to live in vain and there is one thing left for me to do.

Ignore.

Usapang Baligtad

so sabaw ako as in right now. at eto ay glimpse ng isang conversation ko na ganto ang state ko. may parts na inedit ko para makuha ung point. tinanggal ko din ung part ng kausap ko :))


:))))))))))))))
alam mo
ang kabaligtaran ng 14
ay 41
ibig sabihin nun
wala lang

alam mo ba na
pag binaligtad ang kaye
ay
eyak

may tanong ako
kapag binaligtad ang sunny side up
sunny side up pa din ba to?
seryoso kasi

alam mo ba na pag may baso ka na may lamang tubig na hinaluan mo ng salt at sugar
at binaligtad mo, matatapon ung laman XD

ganun din kahit walang salt at sugar.
seryoso
try mo

pero alam mo pag binaligtad mo ung
tapat
tapat pa din

at ang kabaligtaran ng :) ay (:
hindi :(

pero nagcocoexist lahat ng magkabaligtad
if theres something wrong
theres something right
if theres something right
theres something left
if theres something left
theres something gone

at matagal ko nang iniisip ano kabaligtaran ng isang number
lets say 2
is it -2
or 1/2

pero narealize ko na ang pagbabaligtad
ay parang pagsukat
may standard
so pag nagbaligtad ka ng something, may with respect to what.

titigil na :)