Stalking is one of my greatest skills.
I don’t know how but I’ve come to a point where I can learn odd things about
random people in the weirdest ways possible.
Sometimes, it feels like some information pops out of nowhere and then, I
keep note of it, thinking it might come in handy in the future. And if it did,
I am always amazed at how these information turn into dots that connect to one another
and eventually form a new picture.
Yes, I might seem like a
professional. I stalk not only for myself but for my friends. It’s a nice hobby
and pastime. I gather information through different means such as social
networking sites. I browse at the profile of the person and the friends of the
person on Facebook. Another stalking technique is to Google the name, student
number or any information and finding related links. It does not end there. You
can get information through common friends by asking questions but avoiding
suspicions. You don’t want to give them any idea about the client. However, there
are times that the situation gets more complicated and it comes to a point that
I am not sure how to handle it anymore. This is one of those times.
It was 2011 and the semestral break
was fast approaching.
I rushed down the stairs of the
Quezon Avenue station looking for a jeepney going to the university. I was
feeling uneasy, freaking out about my grades on a subject that I thought I was
going to fail. The thought of it bugged me that whole time that I didn’t notice
any person around me since the start of the day. But then, I noticed a guy facing
the floor just across me in the jeep. His puzzled look caught my attention. Where
was he headed? What was wrong with him? I didn’t know. But this curiosity
changed my state of mind from being a panicking paranoid to a wondering kid. I
stared at him more intensely while he was not looking and noticed his bright
eyes and his innocent face. He somewhat
looked like my first crush back at fifth grade. It might be the reason why I
was at ease with him. I don’t know. I can’t tell.
The jeep was already near my
destination. It stopped by the FC and I stepped out of the vehicle with a bit
of hesitation. Wait! He also left the jeep and walked towards the same
direction as mine. I didn’t know why, but I felt a mild sense of relief. Different
thoughts had been going in my mind. Was he also an EEE student? Well, what are
the odds? Sad to say, I stopped in front of EEE but he continued to walk
straight ahead. Maybe, I got the wrong idea. But still I asked myself, will we be
able to see each other again?
This is quite funny. I never thought
we would, but we did see each other again during enrollment. I thought I knew
every face in EEE but how come I have never seen him before? Maybe he is a
freshman. Well apparently, he was. I was able to confirm it when we had an
event for freshmen the next month and he attended it. Okay. This seemed weird. I
didn’t want to be mistaken for a creepy pedophile. No way. After that, I tried
to forget everything about that guy. It all ended there, I thought.
Few days passed and I spent some
time stalking for others’ sake. On another side of the story, I remember my new
roommate at the boarding house telling me stories about her high school crush. She
told me how they met and how they joined contests together. I wanted to tease
her by stalking the guy because he also studies here in UP. I learned different
things about his guy and I used it to blackmail her for fun. For example, I
dared her that I can get this guy apply to my organization even if he said he
will never apply. But then, at the end of the day, I didn’t have any intention
to treasure or be attached to those information.
There are also times that I learn
about other people by accident. For example, when I spent time with my orgmates
in trying to put up a dormant provincial organization, the usual questions that
people ask when they first meet is “What is your course? Do you know this or
that person?” Then, they asked me a familiar name whom is their cousin who also
studies in EEE. I’ve really heard it before but I was too into other things
that time to think it through. I guess he was one of those guys that I saw in
the EEE students list or a friend of friends. Oh well, I just said I didn’t
know but they still continued to talk about him. I didn’t want to be rude so I
paid attention.
The next day, just when I walked out
of my boarding house and had a long walk to my first class, I began to think about
random things. Well, it was a typical thing for me to do. Then, I was reminded
of the boy at the jeep on the way to UP. I smiled at the thought of it and
tried to remember his face more clearly. Then, I remembered another thing, and
another, and another. Yes, information turned into dots that interconnected in
my mind. And yes, he was the same guy that my roommate likes. He was also the
same guy as my orgmates’ cousin. Right then and there, everything made sense to
me and it was amazing.
After that, I was quite problematic
about it. Yes, I think he already knew me because of all of our common friends
inside and outside EEE, but I wasn’t sure about that. We weren’t introduced properly so I didn’t
know what to do whenever we happen to pass by each other at the stairs or at
the corridor. Will I say hi? Will I say I know him? I don’t know. I don’t want
to be called “feeling close”. This is the time that things went a little weird.
Anyway, I never forgot the dare about making him apply and I thought it would
be fun. I asked my other friends who were his blocmates to invite him. For one
semester he did not show interest. The next one, he did, and it was a miracle.
And guess what, this is where the atmosphere became even weirder. Because of
our common friends in EEE, we started to hang out together without directly
talking to each other. It was really, really awkward being friends with the one
you stalked. Imagine how I refrain from telling all the things I know from him
and pretending I don’t know anything and hoped not to appear suspicious.
One time, our barkada went out for dinner. We all rode the same jeepney home but
in the end, only the two of us were left. The scene was quite familiar, a déjà
vu, but unlike the last time, we are now both aware of one another’s presence. I didn’t know what to talk about. I thought I might
say the wrong things or ask the wrong questions. But to break the ice, I still
asked him when he started to know me. He said that even before he applied, he
already knew me because of my roommate. Thank goodness. That was the start of
my first comfortable conversation with him. I told him some of my knowledge
about him but of course, I did not tell everything. I can’t do that until now.
I didn’t tell him about seeing him in one of the jeep right before he
remembered we met. But I guess, It was really a relief.
Well, we are still good friends up until
now without any malice or awkwardness involved. He finished the application
process soon enough and became my orgmate as well. Then, I ended up with a
thought that stalking is a good tool in knowing people but we can never get to
know a person through stalking as much as we learn about them from
themselves. With that thought, the guy
and I continue to know each other more and enjoy each other’s company along
with our other friends, and I guess, that’s the one that matters.
