Fragile Heart

I

Dreams shattered                   

Hopes broke down                             

To see you walk away                        

In tears I drown                                                                      

II

The promise you've told

Is the promise you've forgotten

My emotions were abandoned

A vow was left broken

Refrain:

The way you look changes

As time pass by

Yesterday you said

You'll never leave

And now you'll say goodbye

And now you'll say goodbye

Chorus:

What about the desire we pursue

The moments we've made and done

The feelings we shared, the way we stare

All are lost and gone

(Repeat I)

(Repeat refrain)

Chorus 2:

What about the desire we pursue

The moments we've made and done

The feelings we shared, the way we stare

All are lost and gone

Though I understand

 it's still hard in my part

For you to find happiness                   

Do I have to break my heart

Bridge

Reasons I don’t want to hear

 Should I forgive and forget

My mind was left in confusion

My heart was left wounded

(Repeat chorus II)

                                   

Do I have to break my heart

Do I have to break my heart


Well, I wrote this when I was in 1st year high school. It's supposed to be a poem but a friend of mine suggested to put a tune to it. Yeah. It's been a long time since I last read it and I kind of feel WHAT-THE-HELL-AM-I-DOING right now. Because now that I read back, I can't believe I wrote it. It's so corny. Oh well, memories will me memories.


There you have it. I will be posting more of it later. (what a lot of shame for me)

A Superduperexapetaterragigamegaultraelectromagnetic Leap and Never Look Back

I realized. . .

My 4th year high graduation is not that bad. I mean, yeah, it's horrid. Just like when I wrote a few rhymes for it and just be thrown and then, rush us out and make us all look silly. But hey, not all is bad. I mean, seeing my best friends rise to get their honor and have speech. Have this cool speaker (even if the fuse exploded that cut off the current) that had this cool story. Good thing, I was in front to hear it.Somehow, I saw a little fate of mine in him. Well, just when I thought I was the "most promising" (but probably the bitterest of all students), listening to mister, he was also called the same you're-not-on-top-but-hey award. He graduated like that and entered UPD and well, looking so happy now. "I'll be happy too," I said. "I'll be better."

Okay, maybe, that's why it's called most promising.

By the way, sorry for all-of-a-sudden have an english post. I got a bit hooked up with the percy jackson series and BOOM! Im really into it.

Speaking of the series, well, not only did the greek myth caught my interest but the many life-and-death events. Jumping off (or almost) a cliff caught my attention. I sort of can relate what happened to the 1st semester of my 2nd year (which is really the main point of this blog). Yeah, I said it. The difference is that, I need to hold on even with the right hand pinky is the only part of me left that holds. People (not really) in the story can just jump off a cliff and somewhere in the end, be alive again.(Haha! I told you, when I'm reading a story book, I am torn between reality and fantasy.) But seriously, just now, when I had my sembreak, I felt like a balikbayan to my own hometown. It's like I have not been around a long time. My old friends? It felt like years apart from them and same goes to my past years' hobbies and addictions. I thought I won't have to waste time for a while since I made a step back last 2nd sem after failing a subject. I don't want it to happen again. . . or much sooner, at least.

My sem started well. It was a bit scared having an all-major sem but I have friends to be with. I got this hardcore subject that some unfortunate ones are not able to make it through. I even made a song for it, though, it's unfinished. Its title is "At the Peak." I said, I will only finish it if I fail. But after I knew I pass it (the hard way i tell you) I lost the song. I'll try to look for it and show it to you someday, I guess. Other subjects were also tough. It's the first sem I bought a book and read a lot of it. I also borrow books and all. I can say I became better, after all. Though sometimes, I can't avoid some bad habits.

Org life? Well, I've dedicated most of my time to CKT. It's the nearest there is. Also a bit with Angkan. We revived this dormant Cavite organization and it's on its way to the world. Love life? It's always the same. I don't have one. Yeah, I got a crush on one of the professors but just for fun. That also goes with people I claim as "Crush of the Day." That might be the reason why I got agitated when rumors spread that I like a person. I don't like it that way. Yeah, there is a time I got my eye on him but only for observation. I disproved my interest. And well, getting teased to him is really annoying. Well, not only getting teased. I don't know why but being around him as well felt really awkward and wrong. I hate it. Well, just don't remind me of it. Ugh! Actually, not only to him I am teased. But also, to my friend's guy. Well, it was last summer that it started when I spoke of him because I have no choice and I didn't realize people took it a bit too far. It is not as much irritating but I am just getting shy to my friend. It's not supposed to be that way. Don't ask me anymore. You already know. I don't like anyone now. If i did, you all know who he is. It's just the same person all along. It's also not right! Haha, i don't want to think about it, next topic. Yeah! I had my street dance class that boosts my hidden desire, my long lost frustration, to dance. I'm not really not good at it and I'm still working on it but I got more confidence. I said that before I turn 18, I must learn even a bit of dancing. And there I was.

Well, I've been a fool the whole time. But guess what, I was a happy fool. All that matters is that I did well in the end. All payed back well. I passed all subjects (almost). I got new skills. I'm telling you, if I've been like these even before college, I've gone a mile. But it don't work that way. I guess, it's a different thing. Well, all I can say is, this sem is such a breakthrough for me. It made me see a lot of my dreams clearer and nearer and I hope I've not mistaken. I mean, signs say I must move forward and so I have no reason to go back or fall apart. I don't know what tomorrow brings me. All I know, it's waiting to be revealed.

at the peak (teaser)

oo, ang isang sem ay parang bangin. . .



madaming naganap. . .




MAHUHULOGorgacadsBAsarililablaypAKOkaibiganikawSAkatangahanlahatBANGIN. . .





abangan. . .



_________________________________________________________________________


mga awitin ng nakaraan. . .



muling hahalungkatin. . .



at isisiwalat. . .


ang taglay na kamaisan. . .



abangan din. . .



____________________________________________________________________



sa susunod na mga kabanata ng BLOG na walang nagbabasa




(kasi nga ayaw kong may magbasa)









ngayong SEMBREAK, malapit na xD

koments at mga testi (Friendster Blog October 16 2007)

naun….. bnalkan q uli ung mga testi at koments q…..

bnasa q uli ung iba…..

syempre…….ung mga matino…….angganda at nkakamiss

pero s lhat ng nbasa q eh ung ibang gawa mo….

naalala q ung mga days na gnun ka….

nkakamiss…….

naun….. sinisisi ko sarili ko kasi ako nmn may ksalanan kung bkt ka ngbago…

sorry T.T…

ndi n b tlga pde iblk ung dti????

basta!!!!

miss n kita!!!!

……..

a little too much (Friendster Blog December 8 2007)

reality is really weird…i’ll say….. as i look around and see different people…..

those people who have a lot… usually wants less and those who have little wants more…… that is where envy starts… because some people doesn’t like what they have but others wants and vice versa….we never get contented with what we have…never been happy on what God had given… but even a simple "thank you" was never been uttered by some….

people seek for perfection which does not exist in this world…. that’s y they search for remedies…. then once they have it… people still want more….

anyway….. we can’t blame them…. for it is their nature….

but….on the other hand…. we should not forget that everything here in this world is just borrowed…… and soon……we will return it back to where it came from…. we are in debt…..as long as we are alive….so as early as now……learn to thank and appreciate….

JusmE (Friendster Blog August 4 2009)

marahil wala n ngbubukas ng blog ko

ni ako…2007 pa huli qng post

tpos d ko na tlga tntgnan…

ngayon lng ulit…

tapos makikita ko yang blog ko tungkol sayo..

october 2007 pa

anong petsa na ngayon oh

e hanggang naun ganun pa dn nraramdaman ko

nagsisisi pa din sa pagkawala mu

nagsisisi na d q pnrmdam sau un

jusme jusme

hanggang nayon

ang tanga ko na maghntay sa pagbblik mo

e paano kung d ka na bumalik?

e paano ko naman malalaman un kung d mo sinasabi?

jusko jusko

bakit b naman kasi kelangan pa mngyari lahat ng ito

please, bumalik ka na

araw araw ko iniisip kung babalik ka pa

miss na kita

lagi ko naman sinsabi sayo un e





mahal kita

sinabi ko na din sayo yun pero di ka naman naniniwala







isipn mu naman…

naubos na lahat ng panahon…

dahil wala ka

tapos…

yung panahon matatapos na din…





hm, siguro nga ngayon

tamang d mo na aq kailangan sa buhay mo

d na bale

gusto ko lang sabihin na

mahal pa rin kita



mapatawad mu sana ako

wag mu sana ako makalimutan

salamat sa lahat





at





maghihintay ako





o sabihin mong di ka n babalik

para wala ng maghintay



















______ntatapos ang post ngunit wala po itong katuturan haha______







_nakapagtataka_

Butihing Post (Tumblr Post May 31 2010)

this past few days… i find rage for every person that passes my eyes, then criticize their faults. but then, i asked myself, “what is wrong?” i looked at the mirror, i looked inside myself and saw my heart burning, well, just a little more time to take for it to be dust. i tried to kill the fire with my tears, but, i can’t… .
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TAMA NA NGA ANG KADRAMAHAN!!!!!!!!! xD practice lng po un…
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ang totoo nian….. lumagpas ang mga araw ko na nanlulumo ako at di ko alam ang dahilan…
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perhaps a week or more, i don’t know, what’s wrong. I thought of answers. Maybe I’m paranoid of going to college as it draws nearer now, or maybe i just lack so much attention this vacation. I dont know if i really dont have time or i just refuse to, but i wanted to, insane. well, that’s me nobody can change that fact. I don’t know why the hell do i do things against my will.
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hmmmm, its part but its not the answer. but it might really be related to wanting more attention, hmmm, what specifically? up to what extent?
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How am i doing these times? I don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t get excited to the things that i used to. i even became irritated about one of my favorite bands. i divert my attention to something that would waste my time. I even do things that would make people talk to me, example, spamming in everything. ignoring what i love and talking bout the things that in reality, doesn’t even matter to me.
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hmmm….marbe im just bored… … . or not…
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MAY 31, 2010»> a day of realization
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yesterday, a song played, it was one of my favorites before. i listened to it and even sang with it at the top of my lungs without knowing it will lead me to the answer. yes. i know now what is wrong. it’s frustration.
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…frustration for music…
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my first and last love. i love music since the time i don’t remember, i lived with it and id die without it. It might really be my true passion. but then, as more time passes by, the more the world lets me realize, it’s not meant for me.
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yes. i want to know EVERYTHING, everything about anything about music. yes. when i go to music stores, i want to buy everything that’s in there, or at least, one xD. why can’t i just grab something i want and take it home with fulfillment? yes. i awfully get insecure when my siblings started to learn new instruments. well, im not being selfish but it sometimes pains me that no one can understand my dedication for music and chances just pass by other people easily, as for me, it takes everything to have it. why can’t i have those kind of chance?
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“i used to do this. i used to do that. i used to love this. i used to love that.”
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i told that to myself xD but then, a friend i’m thankful of woke me up to my insanity and made me realize… ”i still want to do this. i still want to do that. i still love this. i still love that.”
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oh well, that’s life. what’s important? im okay now and im back in action xD
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PS: im not being selfish here. there are just things that i wanted to fulfill myself xD. meaning im just an overly obsessed geek of music. dont get me wrong. i believe that MUSIC IS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!