this past few days… i find rage for every person that passes my eyes, then criticize their faults. but then, i asked myself, “what is wrong?” i looked at the mirror, i looked inside myself and saw my heart burning, well, just a little more time to take for it to be dust. i tried to kill the fire with my tears, but, i can’t… .
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TAMA NA NGA ANG KADRAMAHAN!!!!!!!!! xD practice lng po un…
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ang totoo nian….. lumagpas ang mga araw ko na nanlulumo ako at di ko alam ang dahilan…
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perhaps a week or more, i don’t know, what’s wrong. I thought of answers. Maybe I’m paranoid of going to college as it draws nearer now, or maybe i just lack so much attention this vacation. I dont know if i really dont have time or i just refuse to, but i wanted to, insane. well, that’s me nobody can change that fact. I don’t know why the hell do i do things against my will.
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hmmmm, its part but its not the answer. but it might really be related to wanting more attention, hmmm, what specifically? up to what extent?
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How am i doing these times? I don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t get excited to the things that i used to. i even became irritated about one of my favorite bands. i divert my attention to something that would waste my time. I even do things that would make people talk to me, example, spamming in everything. ignoring what i love and talking bout the things that in reality, doesn’t even matter to me.
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hmmm….marbe im just bored… … . or not…
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MAY 31, 2010»> a day of realization
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yesterday, a song played, it was one of my favorites before. i listened to it and even sang with it at the top of my lungs without knowing it will lead me to the answer. yes. i know now what is wrong. it’s frustration.
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…frustration for music…
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my first and last love. i love music since the time i don’t remember, i lived with it and id die without it. It might really be my true passion. but then, as more time passes by, the more the world lets me realize, it’s not meant for me.
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yes. i want to know EVERYTHING, everything about anything about music. yes. when i go to music stores, i want to buy everything that’s in there, or at least, one xD. why can’t i just grab something i want and take it home with fulfillment? yes. i awfully get insecure when my siblings started to learn new instruments. well, im not being selfish but it sometimes pains me that no one can understand my dedication for music and chances just pass by other people easily, as for me, it takes everything to have it. why can’t i have those kind of chance?
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“i used to do this. i used to do that. i used to love this. i used to love that.”
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i told that to myself xD but then, a friend i’m thankful of woke me up to my insanity and made me realize… ”i still want to do this. i still want to do that. i still love this. i still love that.”
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oh well, that’s life. what’s important? im okay now and im back in action xD
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PS: im not being selfish here. there are just things that i wanted to fulfill myself xD. meaning im just an overly obsessed geek of music. dont get me wrong. i believe that MUSIC IS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!
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