Weekly Challenge 1: "If you are going to talk to your past self, what would you tell her?"

I am a time traveler.

I often foresee what's ahead, sometimes dwell in the past, seldom, live the present. That is why, I often ask myself this question. If you look into my past writings, I have been continuously considering and conversing with both past self and future self. But this is usually just a me at a point in time. It might be different if you look at the bigger picture.

Well, being who I am right now, I have to consider all the points in time from the start until a second ago, until now. It's a causal system wherein we integrate all the x(t - t0) where t0 >= 0.

TOTAL. NERD. ALERT.

Okay. Seriously.

Whenever I talk to past me, I often just say sorry. I mean, whenever I am facing a decision-making event, I often take into consideration her dreams, her passion, her reasoning because that is how I respect her. But then, in the end, I often realize that I'm better off picking something that would benefit present or future self. That is why I don't really give advice to past self. It won't really change anything. Or if ever I can change something, I may not want it. Well, to be fair, I often say sorry to future me as well. Whenever I can't decide for the present, I pick whatever and hopes future self can handle it and I give her a great 'good luck'. 

HAHAHA! I speak as if past, present and future selves are different people. But the truth is, they might be. People change. There have already been a lot of multiple selves that I have been in the past that might not even resemble each other, even a little bit. And there are tons of different version waiting to be current me. But then, I believe that who you are right now is a product of all of your selves before today. That past self that you wanted to talk to might just be within you, sleeping. They might not come back, but they might listen.

Well, if I am given a chance wherein I can pick one time in the past and I can really travel back there and can talk to a past self and then, like, change it, I am not sure what I'm going to say. Past self is a pretty stubborn person that most likely won't take advice from anyone. So, maybe, I'll just end up going to the lowest point in time of my life and then, just be there for her and listen to her, make her feel comfortable, look at her in the eyes and say "you are worthy". I think that is all that she needed.

I'll let her know how much thankful I am for her to stay alive and to bet and to hope that her future self (ohh that's me! that's me!) has the capacity to be better. 

Hey past me! Thank you for this chance. Thank you for not giving up and believing in me. I will try not to put all your sorrows, effort, heartaches into waste. I'll do the best that I can. If you are really there within me, just sleeping, I want this to reach you and hope that you remember that you are worthy and I'll repeat it again and again  to your ears because you often forget that.