Stuck

Maybe I learned my lesson. But maybe I didn't. I've known to myself that this leads to nothing. But then, I can't help it. I'm too shallow. I'm too deep. I've thrown everything and leave a piece to keep. Is this wrong? But it feels right. There's a thin line between what won't and what might.

It's been a long while and I still can’t figure out how does one heart comes pounding, and raising, and skipping, and crushing down all at the same time. How can one person’s smile bring pain of longing to have, and wanting to keep, and waiting to be, and erase all of them at once? What should I do? Well, do I have a choice? I’m always in between stop and go. I’m always too scared to start and too scared to let go.

I'm scared of losing you. Wait, let me correct that. I'm scared of being away from you. I'm not exactly losing you because from the start, I know I can't have you. Especially now, I'm stuck. I'm stuck somewhere new, yet, familiar.

Don't be mistaken. I'm not sad, not at all, not a bit. I am actually happy despite everyone else's point of view. Yes, I know that when you find out what I'm saying, I would look really helpless and pathetic but then who cares? I am happy with this. I am happy anywhere as long as it is with you.

I am stuck there. I can't help my feet from pointing at your direction. I don't know how to say no because no matter what yes means, it'll make you happy and I'll be happy too. I don't know. I think being hopeful and hopeless just differ on how you see it.

Do you know the feeling when you dream at night about falling from somewhere really high and wake up with it? That is exactly how I feel whenever I think about you. I find myself catching for breath but try to slow it down so no one would notice.

I really really really like you. And I don't know how to stop because I don't want to. And again, I'm not asking anything from you. Just stay where you are, if not, ask me to go with you. No, I won't make a move because I think that's what you wish. I just want to be stuck with you.