spaceNOTenough

Ships Sink In, Relationships Sink Within: A Birthday Diary

2011-12-19T05:16:00.000-08:00

December 10, 2011
Saturday

The past whole week, i thought of nothing else but acads, specifically, exams. Yes, what a welcome-second-sem we had this day. WE HAD 3 LONG EXAMS! yes, you read that right, 3 LONG EXAMS! and each is composed of 3 hours so I have to wake up early to have EEE 35 8 to 11 in the morning. I had EEE 23 1 to 4 in the afternoon and ES 1, 4 pm to 7 pm. C-C-C-COMBO BREAK!
SOUP! SOUP! *english for sabaw* I FEEL SOUP! Good way to celebrate is by going to sarah tiu's birthday bash. Yeah, thanks to her. Actually I am more thankful than I seem to be because I thought she wouldn't invite me. THANKS! So there it is. we celebrated her day. She treated us dinner in Wok Dis Way. Scrumptious! Kuya AJ and Kuya Joe bought a cake for her and with lit candles, we sang merrily the birthday song.
They shared the cake with me. I had a few slices and gave it to others and had some more. Then, they started teasing me for having the rest of the cake so they lit up the candles again and sang happy birthday again WITHOUT all of them knowing it's really my birthday in few hours.
Then, we went to Mcdo then Drew's. I spent more hours to wait for Mai's fetcher and so I celebrated my day with CKT people. (even if i'm in soup state). Then, they greeted me even if it does not sink in in my mind yet.

December 11, 2011
Sunday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY?! Really?! Only few people greeted me the whole day. Mainly CKT people and some Angkan people boardmate people and very very few HS people. My best friends didn't. I really don't feel it. I went to trinoma and had my lunch alone around people having fun with other people. Actually, I'm waiting for my Mom. I said I won't go home anymore so she just visited me. But I kind of pitied myself eating alone. Then, there. Mom came and I went around the mall with her. I guess it's okay but it really felt like a typical day. Doesn't sink in at all.

December 12, 2011
Monday

Typical day. Nothing seems to matter. Yes, some people like my best pal already greeted me but still. I prepared the apps orientation presentation in the morning for angkan. went to HQ in the afternoon and more people greeted me. Then, had a meeting with memcom at Chowking in the evening. nothing new. nothing more to expect, it's over.

December 13, 2011
Tuesday

Typical day, again. Classes in the morning and in the afternoon. The only non-typical thing is that I hosted the apps orientation of angkan. That might be a bit of my happiness. We had dinner afterwards. Quite typical, but I'm starting to feel the change. Sinking in?

December 14, 2011
Wednesday

Today is different. Well, forget the day. What matters is the night. I watched Indakan this day. with some of my fave Circuit friends. with my bestest best friend. Yeah, I'm being a bit selfish for considering this as a birthday gift to myself. I saw crush number 63 and crush number 66 too. What more can I ask for? I had fun. I enjoyed everything even the event itself. Which I'm still looking forward in the future.
Ces Digneneng stayed with me in the boarding house because it's too late to go home. Yeah, it's not anymore too late but too early. We still had heart to heart talks till I don't remember. We jst slept an hour and we still had 7 am class. BOOM!

December 15, 2011
Thursday
Boarding house party today! I was not expecting anything. Because I was not prepared. Yeah, I know who I got and who got me in the gifts and I know we just exchanged. I was not able to do my ideal wrapper for combos :( so I got the cake box and put it in it. I got a percy jackson book! WOO! But I wrote the title of wrong book. I got the third which I already have and what I want really is the 5th. BUT HEY! the thought counts more.
The thing that touched me tonight is that when I came home, they sang happy birthday song as if that day is my birthday. Then, they gave me this priceless gift full of my pics and their messages. Damn, just emphasized how vain I am. Haha! Really, Im so touched.

December 16, 2011

Friday

IT FELT RIGHT! It started out with my 7 am class then I slept at HQ in the morning. Then, I went to Trinoma with Mara and Ces to buy a gift for the 2010 party. I'm nervous. Maybe no one will go at the party. But i'm still hoping. So the whole day passed by, I got my engg shirt. I waited at the carillon and saw a bunch of 2010s and some other batches. I'M SO HAPPY! I didn't expect us to be this many, about 25+. Well, with them is where I really want to celebrate my birthday. I saved up a bit of cash for this but since many did not really confirmed, I got nervous of getting short. I treated them dinner at robinson's and they sang happy birthday to every december celebrant. NOISE! but it was really fun!
After that, we went to Mai's house. Each went to the game of their interest: billiards, pingpong, basketball, monopoly, cards, mahjong, magic sing, piano, guitar, food. wait a sec. food is not part of agreement but there were food. tons of it. And so everyone had fun and some went home early and well, some just came after midnight.

I kind of worked hard to have this. I really want this. I want to be with them. IT REALLY FELT GOOD TO BE AROUND THESE PEOPLE!

December 17, 2011
Saturday
I slept an hour or two. I woke up and saw everyone still doing the same activities. I was hoping we could mingle a little but I guess it's quite impossible. I'm already thankful this happened. Then, that same morning, Mai accidentally said about the cake. Okay, my birthday is just a week done and over my dears. I didn't give much attention to what she said. But when they lit the candles and sang birthday song again. I know I've heard a different song over the days. Really, I wanted to cry. I just don't want them to know so I tried to stop myself in full efforts. Kuya Miko kept on shouting speech like a typical birthday ritual but I'm speechless. Yes, I want to speak, I want to say a lot of things, but something is stopping me that moment. My tongue just became so stiff to move. I just sat and blew the candles and had my wishes like it's December 11 again. The truth is I didn't think of my wish and did not utter it in my mind. I just let out whatever my heart desired that time. Then, I sliced the cake. I don't really slice birthday cakes or any random cakes. That might be the reason why it's not proportional. I got a big slice and the others shared the other big slice. It tasted differently. I had it with a smile. priceless.
Yes, i know it might not really be for me, or is it, but then, i also want to be selfish and have everything for myself at a moment.
I really don't want to go but i must. i keep on thanking mai for everything. AS IN! I owe her a lot. to be honest, from the start i really wanted to be close to her. everybody does. even if she didn't do anything with it, just having her around is fine. haha!
going back to the story. I went home with the cake. I know I should have not brought it because of the long hours of travel, but I also want it. I took it home.
When I got home, I got so tired and just slept. When I woke up, my dad saw me and greeted me. That's rare. One of the best gift's I received maybe.

December 18, 2011

Sunday

I woke up and had our thanksgiving at the church.
Then, after that, they asked me where I want to celebrate. My answer is simple. KFC. We all went to SM Rosario and had dinner. Then, my Mom bought me new sandals, new cardigan. My dad bought me Cluedo and percy jackson 5th book. And well, he also bought me a wallet. Yes, he kept on insisting that I should have this super red wallet which does not match my personality. But I have no right to say no so I took it.
We ended the night by having a drink and cake slices at starbucks. Yum. I love coffee. But then, what I love more is my family.
This is the finale of my week long celebration. and the feelings? it finally sank. :D

My Final Day

2011-12-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

written by: jilliane celize alcaraz rebustillo
composed by: me

nagrereminisce lang, eto ung ginwa naming kanta nung aalis si jel papuntang canada, tapos tinugtog namin to sa outing ng 4ensics. miss you jel.

i’ll be missing you

in everything i do

now i’ll be far away

i still hope that i can stay

our happy days

all the times we’ve shared

are now the memories that i will bring forever

* could this be my last stay?

will i ever be back again?

i am not so sure

but i will sing this song for you

for you

chorus:

i want you to know

even if i’m gone

there will still be tomorrow

i want to show you

how much i’ll miss you

cause this might be my final day

“my final day”

please do not be sad

if i will leave this way

i hope you will be safe

as i am leaving this place

( * and chorus except ” ” )

bridge:

i wonder if i’ll never come back

will you ever say i miss you?

cause you’re always in my heart forever… forever

(chorus 2x)

ohhhhh…

my final day…

not-so-dear diary (very random)

2011-11-18T06:59:00.001-08:00

Dear diary,

HAYNAKO! NAKAKAINIS! Banaman, magma-Mcdo na nga lang, matatapon pa ang orangejuice ko na walang bawas. Sayang no? Lahat naman ng bagay sa mundo sayang pagnaisip natin kaagad na hindi ito worthwhile. Pero malay mo, ang sayang sa iyo, pangarapng iba.

Tulad na lang ngmga makapigil hiningang mga pangyayari sa akin kanina na marahil sa iba’y isangpangkaraniwang, walang kwentang mga segundo ng kani-kanilang buhay. Eh sino banamang taong hindi mabobother kapag kinausap ka ng crush mo ng harap-harapan,at malapit na malapit sa mukha. Di nga ako makatingin ng diretso. AS IN! Oo natanga na ko. Gumising na din naman ako sa aking panandaliang panaginip habangkatabi niya ang girlaloosh niya. Ay oo, ang lahat ng iyon, wala lang sa kanya.Binabasura lang niya lahat ng pinapangarap ko.

Haha, drama,pwede na akong manalo ng best actress. Nako, marahil pwede nang pang-aniversaryspecial ng Maalaala mo kaya. Joke lang yun, echos lang, eto talaga ang totoongstorya.

Oneday, isang araw, nagtanong ako sa matanda, “Bakit ganito po ang mga tao?”.Madalian namang may sumagot sa akin, “Mayroon lamang dalwang uri ng tao sadaigdig. Ang isa ay tagapagtanghal at ang isa ay ang tagapagmasid”. Inisip komabuti ang sagot ng matanda. Isip. Isip. Wala nga pala ako nun. Maya-maya pa’ynaglakad-lakad ako sa kanto ng Palaris habang umuulan at ang buwa’y nataklubanna ng sandamakmak na mga ulap. Madilim. Kaya siguro tinawag na Diliman.Nakakatakot. Parang walang katapusan ang aking nilalakad. At naisipan kongaliwin ang sarili sa kanta ni Britney Spears para maibsan ang natatamasangtakot. Anong kanta? Circus.
“There’s only two types ofpeople in the world. The ones that entertain and the ones that observe.”OMAYGAD! Dun pala galing yung sinabi ng matanda kanina! Sino namang matanda angsasagot ng kanta ni Britney Spears? Weird. Okay, marahil wala nga kong nakausapna matanda. Marahil, gawa-gawa ko lang. But the point is, maganda si Britney!AY! Di pala iyon. The point is, may entertainer at observer talaga sa mundo. Saanka kaya kabilang? The active? Or the passive? Ako kaya? Kayo na ang humusga.Pero seryoso, LSS ko yung theme song nung Anghelito, Batang Ama.

At heto,nakarating na ako ng bahay habang walang modo kong inagaw kay AIREEN (a newcoined nick name for my roommate) ang kanyang laptop at ginawa ko tong randomthoughts. Not just random, dapat SUPER RANDOM. Ayan na nga eh, nangungullitanung pangalan ng dish kung dish siya, di ko naman maisip. Ayun, after a fewmoments, naging wildberry cheese kate. Labo. Pero mas malabo ako. At leastaminado. O siya, night night na, alas-syete pa klase ko, nakakainis.

MWAHMWAH CHUP CHUP NIGHT NIGHT!

-KATKAT

To Be Honest

2011-11-12T22:20:00.001-08:00

Because I don't want anyone else find this out and this might be the safest place. And, well, if you happen to stumble here, shhhhh. You might not care at all but I might need a little respect.

You see, I still have this hang over of the Pacquiao-Marquez fight and it really, as in REALLY, it super duper controversial. I know judges' decision is final and I'm nothing but just a viewer so I don't really know how things work out there. I just felt bad for Marquez because he worked so hard for months and did really well. Then he cried. He left the ring but the crowd cheers for him. I don't know how it called moment of truth when it made things worse.

I don't get it. I don't feel like going into competitions. Yeah, I might also be scared of losing but the most important thing for me is I don't want to let others down. If I feel I'm not good enough (which I always feel) I decline.

A REALLY BIG COWARD!

Okay. I want to say it directly. No more extra twists. Here it is . . . I don't feel like participating for the Engineering Week. I don't want to be part even a bit of it. I don't know if it is pride or I'm just tired of it but I guess, I can't handle the pressure.

COWARD! CHICKEN!

I remembered the chicken joke again. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Does the answer really matter? Well, why can't it cross the road anyway? Is it forbidden? The thing is, being a chicken, it was not chickened out to cross. Yeah, I'm really silly. But think about it. Once started, it is followed. hard to change. Once human desires, they make it happen, no matter how it-should-not-happen happening it is. It's the way it is.

This is one reason why opportunities are finite. Like the chicken, why would you question it crossing the road. (Okay, that ends my chicken analogy, it's so silly.) When we find things unreasonable, we question. we don't let it happen.

Okay, I'm a bit agitated. About the Eng'g week. Maybe I'm the one wrong. I'm the one questioning right now and I'm the one who doesn't want to participate but to start with, I don't feel at all welcome.

(I hope really no one reads this. Yeah, I'ts my fault to post this in a public place but I know you also find the time when you want to shout at something. This is shouting for me.)

Every single day. I just feel like someone slapping me. FRUSTRATION. a lot of it, different kinds. I want to dance, to sing, to act, to play basketball, to play volleyball, to be in everything but no. It's hard when frustration collides with cowardice. a really bad feeling. Really, I feel intimidated by others. I don't feel that I'm not good enough. I tried before, but just proves I'm really not good enough.

Actually, I had chance to audition but I didn't grab it. I think I already have a phobia of auditioning. I hate it more than performing on stage. Well, I didn't audition for Awitan because I'm not allowed. I have a good reason that no one will understand in the group then this guy, he did what should not be done. I won't give anymore details. Well, another, last year, I remember last year I was asked to join one sport but I declined because I'm sick but I didn't tell I'm sick. I just said no. Now, they look for players and not minding asking me might be because of before.

Yeah, I got a job. I kind of like be part of handling our team for Dulaang Eng'g but I don't know. I think it's a good chance but something's stopping me. I don't feel like participating. What's wrong with me? I'm given a chance but I don't want it. Last year I did, but now, no.

I don't want any of it.

Okay, I suck. I'm a big loser. A total COWARD. If someone does not trust me, I start doubting myself. If someone does not like me, I hate myself more. I guess my happiness is still dependent of others'. I can't stand for myself yet. I can't fight for what I believe in. I'm nobody. I'm a laugh-about. I'm a big JOKE!

but I'm also human. I want a time for myself. I want to be selfish at times. unfortunately, this is what I'm stressed over for a moment. I want to feel that someone believes in me for me to see it's true.

I don't want this. my tragedy is others' comedy. I want to hold on but I can't. I don't know how to start. When I start, I don't how to end. Maybe, I just need more time but until when? This is what always bothers me and this couldn't take forever.

PLEASE! OH PLEASE!

Please help me find what I seek. someone, please.

Me and My Obsession

2011-10-31T02:28:00.000-07:00

Music.

Take everything away but not music.

Haha. I've been posting random works of mine but not giving much detail about it so I decided to create an independent post.

I don't have formal training in singing. I'm even a worse dancer. But then, I'm just really, really moved and I just want to have it with me though I'm not good at it.

I was a child of dreams. I wanted to be in the world of music industry when I was a child. I pretend to make my own songs by singing random words in random tunes. We bought my keyboard when I was in prep and I don't have any idea how to operate it. Well, I used to play with it and try to find out how to play on my own. I still remember, I was a fan of F4 back then when I was able to have Ni Yao De Ai's tune in my fingertips. So far, it's the first song I've played on my own that I can recall, in monotone.

I started formally writing a song when I was 8. There was a tune as well but sadly I was not able to save it and I don't remember any of it but the thought. Yes, it was about children being stubborn yet the key to the future. I also wrote songs when I stepped on grade 4 and so on but like the first one, I was not able to save it.

I wrote more songs than ever in high school for different reasons. I was asked to compose songs for projects, batch contests, friends with farewell, graduation songs, jungles but I was mostly able to save the songs I wrote privately. I lost the rest.

I was first taught guitar when I was in 1st year by a band person but I didn't learn that much. Real learning happened when I got to have free time with high school friends and share knowledge. I somewhat learned to incorporate piano and guitar well. Yes, I know how but I really lack techniques. Oh well.

I'm fund of singing, but I'm a try-hard singer. I have no confidence on what I can do. Anyway, people had been discouraging me since the time I can remember. I've been part of a choir at 1st year high but my dad asked me to stop. No one I know in the family appreciated my music and they always tell me just to study hard with math and science. I became shy. Just like when I auditioned in the school choir, I didn't sing in my audition thoroughly and it really sound horrible. Then, I tried to be part of the dance troupe but I just stood in my audition. From then on, I had this fear of audition. You see, I can feel more pressure on it than on the performance itself. Anyway, at the end, I became part of school choir for some reasons. I play the keyboards for them. I also learned a bit of violin when my bro bought one and I played with it.

In college, I thought things would change. I've been part of two choirs but not having formal auditions. Also, I have limits. Just like what I've said, no confidence at all. Well, I wanted to dance more as an 18th birthday gift for myself so I took street dance. But, when there are auditions of anything, I can't face it. I mean, I'm not scared of being unaccepted. I'm scared of the pressure. What if I mess up?

I really love everything about it. EVERYTHING. SO when I have a chance, I grab it. Unless, the fear takes over. All I'm aiming for now is for me to take over the fear. I want to know what more I can do. I just don't like the fact that I could fail anyone. My failure of myself is enough.

Well, I had another funny thought. I had my life now set on a wheel of fortune. You know why? I don't know why the heck I'm in my course. That was before. Now, I put a bit of hope. I had this subject next sem related to music, the numerical of it. Well, I was hoping for me to like it and just belong to one laboratory and have my work in the future with it. Yes, I'm so silly. But, I guess when I said I like everything about music, this is a challenge. and guess what. . .

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

At the Peak

2011-10-26T06:54:00.000-07:00

if this is a cliff

and if i fall this time

second chance is a gift

just to finish the climb

so next time i won't stop

just wait there at the top

and soon you will see

i'll be with you at the peak

There. I thought it was lost but I found it around my bags. Yeah, just the night when I found out I have to take the removals for Math 55. It's only a sneak peek since it's not even half the song. If I pass all my subjects this sem, I'm gonna finish it wit a happy ending.

This how I describe myself whenever I'm about to fail a subject. But I guess this song is more optimistic that what I really feel since it is ready to face the second take. Haha! I'll save all my efforts to my next subjects. I'll be armed enough alright.

Empty Promises, Filled Regrets

2011-10-22T19:43:00.001-07:00

You were never what I wanted

I never meant to fall

Why did I let you pull me down

We have no reasons at all

Refrain

Why does it have to come here

Won’t there be another way

Chorus

It’s too late to turn it back

No we can’t return our days

It’s too late to make it right

Tell me why are we here again?

I don’t ask for remedies

This is not the answer

What you need is to stop pretending

So you won’t fool yourself either

I don’t hold a grudge

What I have are regrets

Why did I ever let you in

Now I find it hard to forget

Refrain

Chorus

Bridge

I won’t admit you tore me apart

I can’t believe you are the one

I won’t admit you broke me down

I can’t believe it, I can’t

Chorus

Chorus

4th year days. random thoughts. It doesn't have a tune yet too T_T.

When 143 didn’t mean I love you

2011-10-22T19:42:00.001-07:00

You’re the best thing I ever knew

And I don’t want you to get disappointed

You know how to see me through

And I don’t want to make you feel unwanted

refrain

Expectations do rise these days

And for both of us too

Thank you for the night

But I guess I can’t make it through

chorus

I’m sorry, I’m sorry

It’s not my fault I’m vulnerable

I can’t do it, I can’t do it

I’m too weak to say goodnight

Forgive me, forgive me

For this sudden goodbye

I asked you when will you ever learn toleave

You asked me when will I ever learn to stay

I didn’t say it’s not enough

I’m thankful but I can’t lead the way

I’m not naive to not feel your pain

There are just things I couldn’t face

You’re a weak one to love a weak one

who doesn’t know how to embrace

refrain

chorus

bridge

I just mean I don’t love you

It doesn’t have to mean I hate you

All I want for you to find

Is a real one, a real one

Chorus

chorus

4th year days. Different meanings of 143. It's not just "i love you".

It does not have a tune yet T_T

Chase

2011-10-22T19:40:00.001-07:00

Running away

Is my favorite hobby

So throughout the day

I let no one surround me

Refrain:

So it’s quiet and lovely

No one can hear me whispering

About the world of misfortune

And people misunderstanding

Chorus:

Because of you, you, you

Everything has changed

Others didn’t do, do, do

Feeling me this way

You didn’t even know it

But I’m happy about it

Just by hearing you say

“Come home and stay”

I am so used

To be another loner

But now i knew

I won’t be the same as ever

Refrain:

You touched me it felt good

Will this stay forever?

I want you I need you

To leave again I’ll never

Chorus

Bridge

If one day I’ll disappear

In this world suddenly

I thought no one will be searching

But you proved me wrong

I know I’m wrong

Chorus

Same story as can't make you stay. I kind of don't like this song. It's a bit to loose and really corny. It's not even finish yet. Oh well.

Three Nine and Three

2011-10-22T19:38:00.001-07:00

3 years 9 months and 3 days

Since the last break up I got to get

Oh why i still think of u that way

I guess you’re not that easy to forget

I wonder if you still remember me

The onewhom you once called mean

We’d talked of mistakes until it runs out

Then you’ll make that face and just walkout

Refrain:

What have we done wrong anyway?

But I guess from the start I should havestayed.

Chorus:

Please give me one more chance

I swear it’ll be the last

Please do understand

We can make it last

Didn’t expect it would be hard to move on

I don’t even remember how I lived on

It Never crossed me you’d matter this much

Falling apart, I never thought of such

I’ve always dreamt of you every night

I really need someone to hold me tight

Sometimes I realize you are right

I do miss having you at my sight

Refrain

Chorus

Bridge:

I might have broken

A million hearts but I never

Thought that you would be the one

Tobreak mine to break mine

Chorus

Chorus

Same story as can't make you stay but less of the story. It's just a tiny clue.

Can't Make You Stay

2011-10-22T19:35:00.001-07:00

I never asked for anything until the time Isaw you

I even kept denying about the truth I fellonto

And so I ran away while you are thereunaware

But at the end of the day, I can’t help it butstare

I never asked for anything until the time isaw u

I decided to drop by the shed and greet you

I can’t explain what I felt, when u smile Iwant to say

I can’t get u out of my head; I’m head overheels for u

Refrain:

I just don’t know, don’t know, don’t know

Chorus:

And you know that I know I can’t stop ufrom going away

And I know that u know so I’ll just say itanyhow anyway

Before i prefer waking up alone everyday

Uchanged my mind when u crossed my way

Buteven if I kneel down, beg and plead, I just can’t make u stay

III

I never asked for anything until the time Isaw u

Now the things won’t be the same as it wasbefore

I don’t know what to do, when i am not withyou

Now could I sleep tonight, without anyonesaying goodnight

Refrain:

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight,

Chorus:

And you know that I know I can’t stop ufrom going away

And i know that u know so I’ll just say itanyhow anyway

Before i prefer waking up alone everyday

Uchanged my mind when u crossed my way

Bridge:
And I can’t stand it

I can’t handlethe fact that you’re

Leaving

I can’t take it

I can’t take itback

Chorus:

And you know that I know I can’t stop ufrom going away

And I know that u know so I’ll just say itanyhow anyway

Before I prefer waking up alone everyday

Uchanged my mind when u crossed my way

And you know that I know I can’t stop ufrom going away

And I know that u know so I’ll just say itanyhow anyway

Before I prefer waking up alone everyday

Uchanged my mind when u crossed my way

Buteven if I kneel down, beg and plead, I just can’t make u stay

IV
I never asked for anything until the time I saw you

And now I shout to the world how much Ilove you

I want to be with you, that’s why ill missyou

Lettingyou go is the hardest decision I made

before 3rd year starts. My sis kidnapped me and brought me to Laguna. Yeah, I was so bored so I wrote songs. Well, this song is a bit heartfelt. a bit realistic. HAHAHAHA. I kind of don't want to remember.

All Along

2011-10-22T19:22:00.001-07:00

We used to search for someone that feels

The same way as we do

But where in this world should I start

Just to see that only one

Refrain

I met a lot of faces

I’ve been to different places

Still I don’t know where to go

Chorus

I can’t believe after everything I’ve tried

It’s just here beside me

I tried to seek what I needed to live

But what I’m looking for all along is you

We tried to wait for someone to say

Such gentle words that cut deep through

But when shall the right time be

Just to be with you

Refrain

I’ve searched high and low

I almost had it all

Still there’s something I don’t know

Chorus 2x

2nd year days. I wrote it with Postulate. It's a sweet acoustic song about a person who seeks love and found it with a close friend.

Postulate

2011-10-22T19:18:00.001-07:00

No it's not a love triangle

You're not so aware

Don't ask for affair

You always try to make another angle

Never had reasons

Never had a proof

REFRAIN

We fought, we scream, we cried

And we fell

From interior to exterior

We'll never get along

CHORUS

Why? What's your point?

Prove me your right

And I am wrong

Don't ask for a space

'Cause I'm through with your lines

Prove me your right

And I am wrong

I am wrong

III

You never try to hear my side of the story

A new dimension

Change your direction

We won't find a median

Not a bisector

We're not in proportion

You're not fair and square

REFRAIN

We're tired, lonely, broken

And we're through

Your selfishness

We'll never get along

CHORUS

BRIDGE

The world is just round

And it will keep turning around

Start a new segment

And vary your way, your way

CHORUS 2X

One of my known songs in class. Of course, we performed it in class. It's a project for Geometry. I actually made triple meaning with the song. The first one it's a lousy song forced with a lot of geometry words. Second, it's a song about two people fighting about a postulate problem which is just accepted without any further proof and the other can't accept. The third, it's a man fight. An argument who have different beliefs.

Part of Me

2011-10-22T19:15:00.001-07:00

Inever knew how to start

All Iknow is that you came in my life

Inever thought that you would touch my heart

In aninstance, you are by my side

Refrain

Apologiesmight never be enough

In allthe things that I have done

Buteven if it is too much

Youstill forgive me, forgive me

Chorus

Ican't afford to lose a friend

Afriend you share your life with

Ican't live without your comfort

You'vebeen a part of me

Thisis my favorite line

Whenyou turn my world around

Whenold things never get old

Andnew ones never get new

And Iam so thankful

Refrain

Chorus

Bridge

Andonce I ran away

Youalways find a way

Tomake me go

Backhome

To you

Chorus

Chorus

2nd year days too. A friend of me asked me to write a song.

The Perfect Piece

2011-10-22T19:13:00.001-07:00

Isaw myself in darkness

Butthen, you've been my light

Youlent me everything

Yourears and your eyes

You'rea witness

Tomy tears and smiles

RefrainI

Ionce lost my way

Twicefallen down

ThenI asked for a hand

Youlent me your arms

Chorus

Inall the clouds I've stepped on

Inall the stars I've reached

Whatwould it all be without you

Iwas blessed to know an angel

Iwas blessed to know you

Yourwings have brought me to heaven

Youtaught me how to see

Then,I started to see you through

Iam now not afraid

Ofanything

Andit's all because

Ofyou

RefrainII

Timecontinues to pass

Anda lot of things changed

Then,I looked at my side

You'vebeen there all the time

Chorus

Bridge

Ifever we have to make our separate ways

Andyou'll tell me you'll go

I'llsay you are wrong

'Causeyou're in my heart I know

Chorus

Toheaven…

This is also supposed to be a poem for English class back in 2nd year. Write about your inspiration. I overdid it. Many said turn it to a song and I find it nice.

For whom it is? it's a secret.

Unkown

2011-10-22T19:10:00.001-07:00

Excuseme

MayI ask something

Haveyou seen my long lost friend

Yousee you look

Verythe same

Butyou are different

Ican tell

CHORUS

Whois this person

Rightnext to me

Youlook so familiar

Thoughit's not that so clear

HaveI seen your face

Somewherebefore

Butyou'll never be

Theperson I've known

Butyou're not

You'renot

You'renot the one

I'mlooking for

(2x)

Youhave same eyes

Butdifferent shine

Youhave same lips

Butdifferent smiles

Youknow you have
Just everything

Everythingexcept for a heart

(Repeatchorus and *2x)

This is a song I wrote about 1st or 2nd year. It's lyrics is really bitter but the tune is really upbeat and jolly with a touch of country. It's about a person you thought to be a friend but changed.

With Me

2011-10-22T19:06:00.001-07:00

I thought that meeting you is a near to death experience

But it's even more like dying again and again and again

I just can't stand to live with you

Neither to live without

REFRAIN I

Is it my fault to admit

I am buried alive

CHORUS

I'm here, lying down, stiff and cold

I can't move and I can't breath

I can't stand you near

Neither far away from me

So please tell me now

What should I do to keep me alive

In everyday that passes me by

Knives just go deeper through

My crazy life just got crazier

Maybe I regret meeting you

REFRAIN II

Is it a sin to tell you

I am burning in hell

(chorus)

BRIDGE

I hate you, I hate you

Yet I care, I still do

Die with me (while chorus)

I'm sure of it. I wrote it when I was in 2nd year high school. I remember the feeling that triggered me to write it. To tell you the truth, it's rare for me to write a song of what I really feel. Most of my songs were what ifs.

This is rock. It's for a person you don't know what to feel. As if he/she is already attached to you but do u no good. Now, I admit, it's a bit harsh. Well, if I have time (or if I'm in my mood), I might revise it.

This Piano of Yours

2011-10-22T19:01:00.001-07:00

Whydid you leave

NowI'm on my own

Youmake me suffer

Maybe,you're not the one

Refrain I

Idon't understand

whyam I still here

ifI have lost you

I'velost everything in me

Chorus

Andthere it goes again

It'splaying on its own

AmI dreaming

MaybeI'm crazy

Isit real or an illusion

Andthere it goes again

Justlike how you play it before

Isyour ghost haunting me

Ormaybe

I'mjust missing you

Willyou please come back

Andplay this piano again

'causeeven though you're gone

I'mstill looking for you

Refrain II

MaybeI'm out of my mind

9'velost myself in darkness

filledmyself with sorrow

feltso much emptiness inside

Chorus 2x

This is a dark song. I mean the ideal music background is kind of heavy and melancholic. It's about a person who misses another person who used to play the piano. (obviously) I wrote it when I'm. . .. err i don't remember. I guess my early 2 years in high school

Again/Muli

2011-10-22T18:55:00.001-07:00

Inevery smile I make

Inevery tear I cry

Inevery time you fool me

Doit all again

CHORUS

Idon't care a t all

Evenif I get hurt again and again

Aslong as you say you love me

I'llstill be happy though I know you're lying

Inevery day we're together

Inevery night you leave

Inevery time you fool me

Doit all again

CHORUS

Inevery step you take near me

Inevery time you walk away

Inevery time you fool me

Doit all again

CHORUS

Doit all

Doit all again

(2x)

Again

Filipino Version

Sabawat pagngiti

Sabawat pagluha

Tilaba paulit ulit

Gawinmo pa sanang muli

KORO

Walaakong pakialam

Kungmuli man akong masaktan

'Pagsinabi mong mahal mo ako

masayana ako kahit hindi totoo

Sabawat araw na magkasama

Sabawat gabing mag-isa

Tilaba paulit ulit

Gawinmo pa sanang muli

KORO

Sabawat paglapit

Sabawat paglayo

Tilaba paulit ulit

Gawinmo pa sanang muli

KORO

Gawinmo pa sanang

Gawinmo pa sanang muli

(2x)

Muli

This is my only song that has a translation. It is also so far my only Filipino song. I actually don't know why. I wrote it between 1st year and 2nd year as well.

I got a feeling that whatever I listen to at the moment actually influences me with the lyrics of my next song. Because as I remember it, I was listening to a somewhat martyr song when I wrote this.

Well, it's a kind of silent song. Kind of louder at the chorus but overall quiet.

This is Our Song

2011-10-22T18:45:00.001-07:00

We'vebeen together from the start

It'llbe sad to break apart

I'llnot leave you come what may

I'llalways be here to stay

REFRAIN

Noneed to cry

Intime of fears

It'llbe just fine

'causeI'll always be here

CHORUS

Togetherwe will fly

Wewon’t know unless we try

Stand,believe it’s true

Andsee me with you

Wecould reach our sight

Justsit back, hold on tight

Iknow that we could be

Whatwe wanted to be
What we wanted to be

Iknow this will last a lifetime

Iknow that we belong

Youand me, till the end

Bothof us, sing a song

REFRAINCHORUS

REFRAINCHORUS

It's an upbeat song, unlike the fragile heart.

Yeah, I got a little problem with this song, I wrote it when I was in about 1st or 2nd year. I actually found a letter to my friend and found a part of a song forgetting it's someone else's song. Now, I got it under control.

Fragile Heart

2011-10-22T18:40:00.000-07:00

Dreams shattered

Hopes broke down

To see you walk away

In tears I drown

The promise you've told

Is the promise you'veforgotten

My emotions were abandoned

A vow was left broken

Refrain:

The way you look changes

As time pass by

Yesterday you said

You'll never leave

And now you'll say goodbye

Chorus:

What about the desire wepursue

The moments we've made anddone

The feelings we shared, theway we stare

All are lost and gone

(Repeat I)

(Repeatrefrain)

Chorus 2:

What about the desire wepursue

The moments we've made anddone

The feelings we shared, theway we stare

All are lost and gone

Though I understand

it's still hard in my part

For you to find happiness

Do I have to break my heart

Bridge

Reasons I don’t want to hear

Should I forgive and forget

My mind was left inconfusion

My heart was left wounded

(Repeat chorusII)

Do I have to break my heart

Do I have to break my heart

Well, I wrote this when I was in 1st year high school. It's supposed to be a poem but a friend of mine suggested to put a tune to it. Yeah. It's been a long time since I last read it and I kind of feel WHAT-THE-HELL-AM-I-DOING right now. Because now that I read back, I can't believe I wrote it. It's so corny. Oh well, memories will me memories.

There you have it. I will be posting more of it later. (what a lot of shame for me)

A Superduperexapetaterragigamegaultraelectromagnetic Leap and Never Look Back

2011-10-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

I realized. . .

My 4th year high graduation is not that bad. I mean, yeah, it's horrid. Just like when I wrote a few rhymes for it and just be thrown and then, rush us out and make us all look silly. But hey, not all is bad. I mean, seeing my best friends rise to get their honor and have speech. Have this cool speaker (even if the fuse exploded that cut off the current) that had this cool story. Good thing, I was in front to hear it.Somehow, I saw a little fate of mine in him. Well, just when I thought I was the "most promising" (but probably the bitterest of all students), listening to mister, he was also called the same you're-not-on-top-but-hey award. He graduated like that and entered UPD and well, looking so happy now. "I'll be happy too," I said. "I'll be better."

Okay, maybe, that's why it's called most promising.

By the way, sorry for all-of-a-sudden have an english post. I got a bit hooked up with the percy jackson series and BOOM! Im really into it.

Speaking of the series, well, not only did the greek myth caught my interest but the many life-and-death events. Jumping off (or almost) a cliff caught my attention. I sort of can relate what happened to the 1st semester of my 2nd year (which is really the main point of this blog). Yeah, I said it. The difference is that, I need to hold on even with the right hand pinky is the only part of me left that holds. People (not really) in the story can just jump off a cliff and somewhere in the end, be alive again.(Haha! I told you, when I'm reading a story book, I am torn between reality and fantasy.) But seriously, just now, when I had my sembreak, I felt like a balikbayan to my own hometown. It's like I have not been around a long time. My old friends? It felt like years apart from them and same goes to my past years' hobbies and addictions. I thought I won't have to waste time for a while since I made a step back last 2nd sem after failing a subject. I don't want it to happen again. . . or much sooner, at least.

My sem started well. It was a bit scared having an all-major sem but I have friends to be with. I got this hardcore subject that some unfortunate ones are not able to make it through. I even made a song for it, though, it's unfinished. Its title is "At the Peak." I said, I will only finish it if I fail. But after I knew I pass it (the hard way i tell you) I lost the song. I'll try to look for it and show it to you someday, I guess. Other subjects were also tough. It's the first sem I bought a book and read a lot of it. I also borrow books and all. I can say I became better, after all. Though sometimes, I can't avoid some bad habits.

Org life? Well, I've dedicated most of my time to CKT. It's the nearest there is. Also a bit with Angkan. We revived this dormant Cavite organization and it's on its way to the world. Love life? It's always the same. I don't have one. Yeah, I got a crush on one of the professors but just for fun. That also goes with people I claim as "Crush of the Day." That might be the reason why I got agitated when rumors spread that I like a person. I don't like it that way. Yeah, there is a time I got my eye on him but only for observation. I disproved my interest. And well, getting teased to him is really annoying. Well, not only getting teased. I don't know why but being around him as well felt really awkward and wrong. I hate it. Well, just don't remind me of it. Ugh! Actually, not only to him I am teased. But also, to my friend's guy. Well, it was last summer that it started when I spoke of him because I have no choice and I didn't realize people took it a bit too far. It is not as much irritating but I am just getting shy to my friend. It's not supposed to be that way. Don't ask me anymore. You already know. I don't like anyone now. If i did, you all know who he is. It's just the same person all along. It's also not right! Haha, i don't want to think about it, next topic. Yeah! I had my street dance class that boosts my hidden desire, my long lost frustration, to dance. I'm not really not good at it and I'm still working on it but I got more confidence. I said that before I turn 18, I must learn even a bit of dancing. And there I was.

Well, I've been a fool the whole time. But guess what, I was a happy fool. All that matters is that I did well in the end. All payed back well. I passed all subjects (almost). I got new skills. I'm telling you, if I've been like these even before college, I've gone a mile. But it don't work that way. I guess, it's a different thing. Well, all I can say is, this sem is such a breakthrough for me. It made me see a lot of my dreams clearer and nearer and I hope I've not mistaken. I mean, signs say I must move forward and so I have no reason to go back or fall apart. I don't know what tomorrow brings me. All I know, it's waiting to be revealed.

at the peak (teaser)

2011-10-18T19:57:00.000-07:00

oo, ang isang sem ay parang bangin. . .

madaming naganap. . .

MAHUHULOGorgacadsBAsarililablaypAKOkaibiganikawSAkatangahanlahatBANGIN. . .

abangan. . .

_________________________________________________________________________

mga awitin ng nakaraan. . .

muling hahalungkatin. . .

at isisiwalat. . .

ang taglay na kamaisan. . .

abangan din. . .

____________________________________________________________________

sa susunod na mga kabanata ng BLOG na walang nagbabasa

(kasi nga ayaw kong may magbasa)

ngayong SEMBREAK, malapit na xD

koments at mga testi (Friendster Blog October 16 2007)

2011-06-08T23:35:00.002-07:00

naun….. bnalkan q uli ung mga testi at koments q…..

bnasa q uli ung iba…..

xempwe…….ung mga matino…….angganda at nkakamiz

peo s lhat ng nbasa q eh ung ibang gawa mo….

naalala q ung mga days na gnun ka….

nkakamiz…….

naun….. cncc q sarili q xe aq nmn me ksalanan kung bkt ka ngbago…

sorry T.T…

ndi n b tlga pde iblk ung dti????

bztah!!!!

miss n kta!!!!

……..

a little too much (Friendster Blog December 8 2007)

2011-06-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

reality is really weird…i’ll say….. as i look around and see different people…..

those people who have a lot… usually wants less and those who have little wants more…… that is where envy starts… because some people doesn’t like what they have but others wants and vice versa….we never get contented with what we have…never been happy on what God had given… but even a simple "thank you" was never been uttered by some….

people seek for perfection which does not exist in this world…. that’s y they search for remedies…. then once they have it… people still want more….

anyway….. we can’t blame them…. for it is their nature….

but….on the other hand…. we should not forget that everything here in this world is just borrowed…… and soon……we will return it back to where it came from…. we are in debt…..as long as we are alive….so as early as now……learn to thank and appreciate….

JusmE (Friendster Blog August 4 2009)

2011-06-08T23:34:00.001-07:00

marahil wala n ngbubukas ng blog q

ni aq…2007 pa huli qng post

tpos d q n tlga tntgnan…

naun lng ulit…

tpos mkkta q yang blog q tungkol sau..

oct 2007 pa

anung petsa na ngayon oh

e hanggang naun ganun pa dn nraramdaman q

nagsisisi pa din sa pagkawala mu

nagsisisi na d q pnrmdam sau un

jusme jusme

hanggang nayon

ang tanga q na maghntay sa pagbblik mu

e pano kung d k na bmlk?

e panu q naman mallaman un kung d mu cnasav?

jusko jusko

bkt b nmn kc kelangan pa mngayi lahat ng ito

…..(censored for privacy)….

araw araw q iniicp kung bblk k p

……(censored for privacy)……..

lgi q namn cnsav sau un e

…….(censored for privacy)……….

cnav q n dn sau un peu d k nmn naniniwala

icpn mu nmn…

naubos na lahat ng panahon…

dahil wala ka

tapos…

ung panahon matatapos na din…

hm, cguro nga ngaun

tamang d mu na aq kailangan sa buhay mo

d na bale

gx2 q lang savhn na

(censored for privacy)

mapatawad mu sana aq

wag mu sana aq makalimutan

salamt sa lahat

at

………(censored for privacy)…..

o savhn mung d k n bblik

para wala ng maghintay

______ntatapos ang post ngunit wala po itong katuturan haha______

_nakapagtataka_

Butihing Post (Tumblr Post May 31 2010)

2011-06-08T23:21:00.000-07:00

this past few days… i find rage for every person that passes my eyes, then criticize their faults. but then, i asked myself, “what is wrong?” i looked at the mirror, i looked inside myself and saw my heart burning, well, just a little more time to take for it to be dust. i tried to kill the fire with my tears, but, i can’t… .
…
…
…
…
TAMA NA NGA ANG KADRAMAHAN!!!!!!!!! xD practice lng po un…
…
…
ang totoo nian….. lumagpas ang mga araw ko na nanlulumo ako at di ko alam ang dahilan…
…
perhaps a week or more, i don’t know, what’s wrong. I thought of answers. Maybe I’m paranoid of going to college as it draws nearer now, or maybe i just lack so much attention this vacation. I dont know if i really dont have time or i just refuse to, but i wanted to, insane. well, that’s me nobody can change that fact. I don’t know why the hell do i do things against my will.
…
…
hmmmm, its part but its not the answer. but it might really be related to wanting more attention, hmmm, what specifically? up to what extent?
…
How am i doing these times? I don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t get excited to the things that i used to. i even became irritated about one of my favorite bands. i divert my attention to something that would waste my time. I even do things that would make people talk to me, example, spamming in everything. ignoring what i love and talking bout the things that in reality, doesn’t even matter to me.
…
hmmm….marbe im just bored… … . or not…
…
MAY 31, 2010»> a day of realization
…
yesterday, a song played, it was one of my favorites before. i listened to it and even sang with it at the top of my lungs without knowing it will lead me to the answer. yes. i know now what is wrong. it’s frustration.
…
…frustration for music…
…
my first and last love. i love music since the time i don’t remember, i lived with it and id die without it. It might really be my true passion. but then, as more time passes by, the more the world lets me realize, it’s not meant for me.
…
yes. i want to know EVERYTHING, everything about anything about music. yes. when i go to music stores, i want to buy everything that’s in there, or at least, one xD. why can’t i just grab something i want and take it home with fulfillment? yes. i awfully get insecure when my siblings started to learn new instruments. well, im not being selfish but it sometimes pains me that no one can understand my dedication for music and chances just pass by other people easily, as for me, it takes everything to have it. why can’t i have those kind of chance?
…
“i used to do this. i used to do that. i used to love this. i used to love that.”
…
i told that to myself xD but then, a friend i’m thankful of woke me up to my insanity and made me realize… ”i still want to do this. i still want to do that. i still love this. i still love that.”
…
oh well, that’s life. what’s important? im okay now and im back in action xD
…
…
PS: im not being selfish here. there are just things that i wanted to fulfill myself xD. meaning im just an overly obsessed geek of music. dont get me wrong. i believe that MUSIC IS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!

Tuwing Umuulan at Kapiling Ka

2011-06-02T17:05:00.000-07:00

I know it's weird, but I'm actually talking about my summer.

Ni ako, di din mawari bakit ulan pa ang naging highlight ng summer ko. Ang init naman. Siguro mas malalim pa ang dahilan sa inaakala ko.

Summer classes. kakaiba. Akala ko kasi, isa itong pagkakataon para magpaka-GC. Medyo matagumpay din naman ako dun pero di pa din kasi ako nakuntento. It's like everyday's the same. I'll walk to my PE class na line dance na uber cute at may uber cute na prof. Tapos, maglalalakad ulit. Tapos, magmath class at maglarolaro sa sunken. wait. may nalagpasan ano. yung makasama siya halos araw-araw. Oo nga no. Madami pala kaming nagsasama-sama sa mga oras na iyon ng araw pero ikaw lang nakikita ng mga mata ko. Ano bang nangyari sakin?

Araw, araw na lang. Lagi na lang. Ikaw yung tuwing kausap ko, wala nang ginawa kundi i-bully ako. Tapos, ang yabang yabang at ang cold. Ang landi pa sa girls pero medyo nagbago. Napaka vain. Pero bakit ikaw pa din?

Naalala ko na. Ikaw nga pala ay gusto ko nung first sem pa. Medyo nawala lang dahil din sayo. Pero bakit parang bumalik yung pakiramdam? Tama! Oo nga! dahil nga pala sa isang sagradong larong ako ang pasimuno. Akala ko kasi wala na kaya ayos lang sabihin na ikaw pero hindi pala. Nagulumihanan lang ako at lalong nag-isip sa'yo.

Para sa akin, malungkot ang ulan. Mag-isa ka. Nababasa. Nilalamig. Basta ganun lagi ang naiimagine ko kapag naiisip ko ang ulan. Para sakin ba'y kalangitan din ay lumuluha. Eh, Bakit ba? Ba't di ko maiwasan malungkot gayong masaya naman ang iba?

Well, its the same reason why I wanted to give up before. I'm in love with you. But she's with you. Well, she's my friend. I'm really happy for her. Pero aaminin ko. Masakit. Ayos lang. At saka, on the first place, sino ba naman ako, hindi ba?

Di ako sanay na kinakausap niya ko ng matino. Kasi nga di ba, pambubully niya ang kinasanayan ko. Pag naninibago ako, basta lumalayo ako. Ayaw ko kasing manggulo. Ako lang din naman kawawa. Kahit medyo mahirap iwasan. Ikaw lang kasi. Pinilit kong ibaling kung kani-kanino pero ikaw lang talaga. Natamaan ako ng kalaban ni batman.

Huwag nga kayong mag-isip ng iba diyan. Ang gusto ko lang, maging magkaibigan tayo. Closer. Where forever is possible. Tapos, alam ko, dadating din ang panahon na mababaling ko din ito sa iba. Medyo matatagalan lang. Kung di pa din, ibabaling ulit sa iba pa. basta bahala na.

Basta, magiging masaya din ako. Lalo na pag masaya kayo. Sana ganun na lang kadali. Kesa sinisiwalat ko tong katangahan ko. Eh, so? malapit na din naman magpasukan ulit eh. Iba-iba na yung makakasama ko sa mga panahon na walang maggawa. Baka kako naover-exposed lang ako sa iyo at masyadong nag-iisip kaya nagkakaganito. Mukhang medyo tama din ako kasi medyo nabawasan nung nagbakasyon. Pero, kahit nawala na ang bagyo, may ulan pa din.

Nauulanan ako kahit tirik ang araw. Nauulanan ako kahit may bubong. Nakikiayon ang kalangitan sa damdamin ko. Asahan niyong gigising din ako sa panaginip na ito.

A Little Less Than a Year After

2011-04-01T23:35:00.000-07:00

This is me. a new me. yung nagtatagalog na sa blog.

I'll give you an update. Today is my first day of 2-week summer vacation as a college student. And many things had happened to me within the year.

Being a BS ECE student in UP is surely a tough fight. Especially, if you don't know what your fighting for. At first, I can't imagine myself in this course and so I'm planning to shift. But my thoughts that time already changed.

Before the classes start, I met UPTC. Yes, alam mo yung sabay-sabay kayong sasabak sa gyera kasi lahat kayo freshmen. Tapos biruin mo hanggang ngayon intact pa rin yan kasama ang UPTC na non-Diliman. O, di ba astigin!! Nung pasukan akala ko, tapos na ito pero hindi pala. Vin texted me na tumambay sa CASAA minsan. too bad, i have classes every lunch so I can't go with them regularly. Tapos ngayong second sem, we lost a friend along the way. Which is so sad. Nalulungkot din ako dahil feeling ko andami kong na-miss dito. Sana next year mabawi ko.

Tapos, I met G-19, ang best block ever! For an ECE block na mas madami ang girls kesa sa boys, may Oble, may advance sa math, may mga ampon at mga parang naligaw lang sa kurso. Wala ata ni isa samin ang nakakaalam kung ano ba talaga ung susuungin naming kurso. Parang una pa lang, wala pang majors e more than half gusto na umalis. Isa ako dun. Well, sabay sabay naming naexperience ung mga teacher like dun sa math except dun sa nagadvance hahahahahahhahaha. Tapos nung second sem, kami kami pa din magkakasama sa upuan pwera na lang sa ibang bumubukod na. Meron nga nagdrodrop na ng subjects at meron ding lilipad ng ibang bansa. Nameet ko, di lamang sila pati ang ilang friends nila, usually sa highschool or classmate sa ibang subjects. Tapos un.

Di mawawala syempre ang UP CKT na talgang bumuo ng College life ko no. Halos lahat ng bago, dito ko naexperience. Dati, walang dahilan bakit sumali ako, pero ngayon, wala nang dahlan para umalis ako. Block handler namin sila, di ko talaga alam kung factor un, pero gusto ko na sumali bago ko pa malaman eh. Wait. Ano nga ba mga ngyri sakin dito? Buddy ko si Kuya Jade nung app ako. Ex president at busy pero supportive pa din. Pinilit kong kilalanin lahat ng kaya kong kilalanin. Tapos, dito ako unang nag-amazing race with DLSU at ADMU at UST ECE pa! Dito din ako nagvolunteer for Y4IT pero di dahil kelangan, gusto ko lang din talaga. Basta nung 1st sem, kung san san ako napadpad. Pati din pala nung second sem, sumali ako ng smokers at dulaang engg. Sumali sa himig at nakaexperience ng isang national quiz bee called squeeeze. amazing di ba? basta ang sayasaya dito.

tapos naging USC volcorp ako na kakaiba siguro sa lahat. Eto ang pinakahaggard na pagvovolunteer ko ever. Pero masya, pero may parts na hindi din. Dito ko naranasan habulin ng guard habang nagpopost ng pubmats. dito ko din naranasan magpupupunta sa offices regarding sa papers and requests. Dito ko nakita gaano kademanding ang mga s*******. Tapos, dahil labas xa ng EEE, mas kakaiba ang mga tao, may iba silang pananaw sa buhay. Basta iba, mahirap iexplain. Anyway, d ko nasabi, dalawa lng naman pinagvolunteeran ko, UP Fair at Jobfair. magkaibang magkaiba sila. as in. mas gusto ko magvolunteer sa jobfair, mas gusto ko mga tao dun. basta, ang hirap tlga magvolunteer pero may sense of fulfillment kasi at inner growth. Nag ELPS nga ko for next year eh.

UPCBI naman!!! wala ako masabi dito. nalulungkot lng din ako di ako naging active dito ng 1st sem. pero eto ako ngayon. basta, alam na kung bat ako eto naun.

anu pa ba? syempre ansaia din mag korean class sayang 7am xa, di ko matugunan ng ayos. Saya din magduckpin at magtable tennis. Saya din makakilala ng mga ibaibang prof at ibaibang style ng pagtuturo. tapos magsusummer pa ko ngayon. haha, di ko lam kung labag sa kalooban ko to pero sa tingin ko aus din minsan na bumabagsak bagsak, basta babawiin na lang. Nako, nako, ngayon lang ako naging ganto kasipag, tapos kulang pa din. alam mo yun? parang kahit anung gawin mo alanganin, at kelangan mong tanggapin.

Pride ba to? oo at hindi. oo dahil ayaw ko sumuko. hindi dahil ayaw ko din sumuko. haha. pride is like a bitter pill. ayan, random na ko. random na ko noon, mas random pa ko ngayon.

basta, nagsisisi pa din ako sa pagkukulang ko, nalulungkot ako madami akong na-miss pero di kasi maiwasan. College is different. You have to face the truth that you should choose. Decision making nga kumbaga. Me, i decide what i think is better without knowing if it is right. Sabi ko nga, ayos lang lumihis minsan pag di sadya basta alam pabalik. but remember, we should know the difference between giving up and to have had enough.

May nakalimutan pa ba ako? ilagay ko na lng sa mga susunod ko pang posts.

I'm lost

2010-04-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

Right now.....errr. i really don't know where the hell i am. Im sort of confused of what to do, when im trying to make decisions, important people join in to stop me and i find things a little contradicting. Well im in serious business here but still i cant accept it because i really dont deserve it.
Well, i don't know what to do now. I don't know which way to go either. My best friend is at some place far away. Haha, just when i need her the most but of course im happy for her as well.
Then, this guy, i don't know the hell with him. He's ruining my life. If he wants to stay with me i want him to change for the better and not drag me to him for worse because i know to myself that i can live without him though i also know it will really hurt badly.
Starting yesterday, until tomorrow, i dont want to talk to him to test myself and also be able to wind up a little. I wanna hear other's voice not just his. he's no everything darn. Then, i thought, im feeling better. I just thought I'm already realizing who is me. But then, my other best pal gave me a sign of what she noticed of me. She won't tell a lie to me i know.

Have i really change for worse if all that i aim is for the better?

Am i still me?

I really don't know myself anymore. . .

False Pretense

2009-11-29T06:25:00.001-08:00

Intensity. I can’t believe I can stand it. No! I CAN’T stand it. It was just a pretense of what I really felt. In every time I got the guts to ignore every single thing up to her fingertips, I also got that weak spot to turn around and shed a tear. I don’t know how it happened and I knew we just felt that same intensity.
The day she was born was fast approaching. No one can forget her day but this one looks like a different case. Every year, I guess, she gets to celebrate. She always had plans of it but she was too late. Coincidence or fate it might be, but it happenings can’t overlap on the day in between the two’s. Then, we get to serve whoever was the first.
I got the feeling that it was just a factor but the true reason is much deeper. One reason might have been within me. I realized it when we get to confess our apologies to each other for having a huge wall in between the last two days. It was heartfelt. She was something not to doubt of embracing again. I really want her back. Come to think of it, I never really said goodbye.
I was revived. I didn’t remember anything at all. The tears, the feelings, all of them are gone. It felt as if our friendship was refreshingly new and also comfortably known. Finally, I got the chance to greet her personally and give a gift. No other had the idea of anything about the past days.

The Best There Is

2009-11-29T06:24:00.001-08:00

She didn’t catch my attention the very first time I saw her. Even so, she might have a magic that lets me not forget seeing her the first times. I appreciated her more as I knew her better.
I even remember her words when I was planning to leave the place, she said “stay”. I’ll never forget that. It was easy to make her laugh that caused me to smile. From then, I enjoyed her company. We asked each other of our likes and dislikes and a couple more of things. I had opened secrets to her that she kept until now and she had told me stories that kept me amazed until now.
We were birds flying through the same path, as I thought we were. We share the same likes and helped each other at times. But after months, life gets tighter and tighter and suffocates us both. We get to spend chosen times and it even took a lot of effort to make each of it happen. I also noticed that we began to choose different things and even spend time to opposite ones.
I said I was wrong. We were not taking the same path after all. And one day, going near, we will really be apart from each other. I hate thinking of it but I try to accept it. I don’t want to get disappointed at the end but I guess it can’t be helped. From that time, I just did my best to be with her. She was the best of the bests among my best friends. I spend time with her as if I wanted to stop the ticking of that second arm. In those ways, I know, we were the same. We can still be those birds flying together. Even if that giant storm comes, I’ll be there to share a feather. Whatever happens, I won’t let anything to be thrown away and be erased by a storm.

Distracted

2009-11-29T06:23:00.001-08:00

I was convinced so I did. A cost of 600 pesos should worth it. I took the test, my future was on line. And I didn’t want the outcome.
De La Salle University- Taft is a well-known school. I got a few friends studying there. Ate Micah was one of those who convinced me. When my mother let me chose between Ateneo and La Salle, I chose La Salle. It was my second time to fix forms. The first one was in UP. But now, I had worked hard to prepare a good scholarship form because I really can’t study there without a scholarship. We can’t afford. I really wanted to pass the test and be a scholar of it. Ate Micah was very supportive and even asked me already to stay in her place when I passed.
Then there, we passed our forms personally. All of my forms were approved unlike my companion’s. The schedule of our test was given. After that, all I need was preparation. I guess it’s the only thing I didn’t have. I never knew what went wrong.
I was with Dianne and Chala. Before the test, we ate first in Tokyo Tokyo and stayed there for a few more time. Then, we waited for Tenten before it was about to start. Chala and I were roommates. I am sitting in the second row. I was so nervous because I don’t know what to do. Plus, the room was like North Pole with its temperature. And then, it started.
I can’t concentrate. I can’t fill each hole properly. Each question was like reading forever. It continued until the end of the 1st period. J left more than fifteen questions unanswered. The same happened with the other parts of the tests. I was in dismay.
“Did I really do my best?” I asked myself. My target was to get a scholarship and NOT play around. I even did worse than what I’ve done in UPCAT. I didn’t anymore hope I’ll pass. All of my plans and dreams with that school, until now, is just plain dust. But then, I still wanted to pass.

Along Came a Poor Man

2009-11-29T06:22:00.000-08:00

Majority out of ten was a beginner. Maybe, that’s the secret why it felt great. There was this tall girl and small boy, high-pitched and low-pitched, trained performer and 1st time performer, short hair to long, dark complexion to fair, to say everything will just cover a lot of space. We must have a very skilled coach to handle the extremes.
Two weeks before the contest week, we were already excused. First days were tough because we got to have that catchy moves and fill the 8-minute time limit. The voice has no problem. We didn’t practice much for it. We GOT it. I thought everything was okay.
One time, we failed to meet the standards and so, we were in the middle of riot when they thought of switching contestants. We didn’t want that. We worked harder and harder until, they asked us to stay. We worked harder but the humor was always there. We practiced more but more often caught fooling around. But we were in that scorching hot stage as the contest approach. We even didn’t bother to pay those costly clothes my mother at first, didn’t like. But then, she was so supportive so she agreed.
Then, there it was, the contest proper. I am so nervous because it was also a first time for me. True, I get to perform but not in a contest outside the school. We waited. Ours was the last part of the program until the time came we positioned ourselves at the stage.
We had a lot of mistakes but it didn’t matter. We can already see the crowd watching attentively and reacting actively with each stunt. I saw the judge smile at us and I even heard their positive conversation. Audience was just so surprised because it was so different from the preceding performances. They were too busy to see the errors. Then, we saw our coach smiled and put her thumbs up.
The next performances were also mixed up. Perhaps different schools had different impression of the name. It was really not famous, not even my mother knew it. After that, we get to change our clothes and watch the rest.
Hours passed and there was not a single clue of our contest. We were in the assembly area and waited. When it came, all our fingers were crossed. We were hoping, hoping a lot. When we heard of the runner-ups, it made us hope more and we got nervous more. Then, when the champ was announced, I can’t help but jump when our school’s name was mentioned. I was so happy. Every one of us was. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
Two weeks after was a judgment day. I already had an idea that I’m one of those to be removed so I told myself I won’t cry. But it can’t be helped. Well, after that, I’m through with it. I just can’t avoid those echoing questions because many were shocked about it. For me, I wanted our school to win so whatever I can help, even if I’m there or not, I will. I did my part. Maybe, it wasn’t enough.

Better Person

2009-11-29T06:21:00.002-08:00

I want to be, to be a better person
Whose will is firm and dreams within his reach
I want to be, to be a better person
With the truth that overpowers him

He knows how to fight for his glory
Against all odds, he battles for his right
He knows what limitations are
He can adjust to all of the changes

Yes I will be, I’ll be a better person
Who can withstand, withstand all contrary
With the light shining upon my armor
With my wings as strong as his wings

This was one of my original compositions. You know how I got it? I was so down. I got everyone down and failed with my outputs. Then, there was this tune that keeps repeating in my mind. It was a plain tune without lyrics that sounds desirable and full of hope. I went up of bed and tried it in piano and it sounds like a familiar tune. I made the lyrics on the spot and began singing it on my own. It felt great as if there was this power within me that awakens. At first I thought it was just an imagination but no. I performed better with my responsibilities.
Just as I thought, self- motivation is very important. I can’t explain it but it’s essential. You can’t have a productive day without your heart and faith on it.
When same situations happen, I just sing the song and I already felt refreshed.

That Shimmering Gold

2009-11-29T06:21:00.001-08:00

Grief was a terrible nightmare
As I hear these civilians moan
Filled my senses everywhere
But when I opened my eyes, I was alone

I grasped for breath and looked around
But there was nothing to see but black out
And there was nothing to hear no sound
So tried to utter words with my mouth

“Is anybody there?” I shout
And hoped, let there be light
So I used my eyes to scout
But no change was found in sight

Then, there came that roaring thunder
With the fearful flashes of bolts
An image of two opposing parties came clear
And in the middle was that shimmering gold

I tried to hide or run away
But I got nowhere farther
I don’t want to die but my life’s a stray
Then, I felt the courage within gather

I opened my eyes afraid
Then again, I thought I was alone
But now, three parties were lying around me
Including the civilians who moan

I did this poem at night. It was my hobby. I didn’t know how it would be interpreted by others but the truth, it’s about humanity. When people fight over riches and power, innocent ones get affected. The one speaking is just a person who was aware of what happened.
Actually, I was planning to pass this for The Molecules but it didn’t get there. In every year I pass one, it always gets rejected. Oh well! Whatever happens It won’t stop my hobby.

The Loveliest Thing There Is

2009-11-29T06:19:00.000-08:00

I asked an old lady on her rocking chair
“Am I not lovely?”
She just saw a painting when she tried to stare
“You are though I can’t seem to see”

I asked a stranger holding a briefcase
“Am I not lovely?”
He just laughed in craze
“You must be out of mind, I see”

I asked my friend whom I thought so dear
“Am I not lovely?”
He turned his back on me and started to clear
“You are, if close my eyes maybe”

I asked my mother who gave me birth
“Am I not lovely?”
“You are my dear though many can’t see
Because each of us contain, the loveliest thing there is”

Here is another poem of mine. It was a rush. It is about my mother. It is about how she made me see the world. It is about how she thought me to see things beyond the naked eye and understand imperfections.
The first three stanzas were about other people’s point of view. They show an example of people who only accept what they want. But then, the last stanza shows a mother who clears everything. It was really like my mother.
I was thankful to have a mother like that.

It Makes Me Smile But Never a Joke

2009-11-29T06:17:00.000-08:00

At last! We finished our newspaper. I gave tons of efforts to do help it done.
My only dream before was to have an English poem posted at the newspaper. I didn’t expect that more of it will come. I became the associate editor of Ang Molekyuls. Really, it was a tough job but it’s worth it.
Being part of it was never a joke. It is very hard but I experienced a lot and learned a lot from it. I get to meet more people and I’m so thankful for their respect. I already stayed on Saturday a lot in school and had overnights there. Also, I have travelled different places and attended different events inside and outside the school. There was more to writing when your part of it.
The most important of all was camaraderie. We are inside of own city with solid walls. We eat together and sleep together. We laugh and cry together. I felt so comfortable to be with them. Then, those who graduated already kept on coming back. We had never ending stories and interesting incidents. It was really something worth treasuring.
I don’t know. We have that understanding of each other. We talk without words and have conversations in silence but then, we understand everyone. We can be so silent or be the loudest thing there is.
No, it’s not about the extra-curricular points. I don’t need it. What I found in making newspaper was more. I found a company that I will never forget. I am able to sacrifice a lot of things because I care so much for it. Not just that, I also care for those who works hard for it. I don’t want to let anyone down.
In here, I get to achieve things that I was not able to achieve in the past. I get to do things that I don’t naturally do. I guess, with it, I can still do more in the future.
As of now, cash was so much of a problem. We already had collections, solicitations and even asked for donations but still it wasn’t enough. But I am happy we are able to cope up with the amount. Imagine, a cramming solicitation and donation let us able to have Php 11, 000 within 24 hours. Still, it wasn’t enough but I’m glad of everyone who wanted to help.
To speak of the contest, I won’t expect much because it was a harsh printing. Oh well! What matters is that we are able to do our part. True, I feel a little guilt I didn’t check on it the last time but we can’t return time. I will just help in escorting the next batches.

I'm With You

2009-02-23T03:51:00.000-08:00

"It's a damn cold night, trying to figure out this life. Won't you take me by the hand, take me somewhere new, I don't know who you are but I'm.....I'm with you." -I'm with you, Avril Lavigne

That is exactly how I felt when I first met him. Well, I don't consider him as a crush nor consider me being in love. Shall we define the feeling as "inspiration" to where it is the nearest? Now, shall I proceed to the details?

Once, there was a young girl but not little for her age, to be specific, she was nine years of age. She was to enter a new school on fifth grade, a very different school from what she had used to. And so, the first day came and she finally met a set of new faces. The teachers and the administrators of the school was welcoming and warm. How about the classmates? They had a first bad impression of her. She was not accepted and even blamed for being bossy, selfish, ill-mannered and perhaps all of the negative traits that could be imagined. She thought it was the worst days of her life as she compared it with that"damn cold night."

Until one afternoon, she went down the stairs and a 6th grade greeted the girl and asked for her name. She said "Katrina" and from then on, they became friends for every afternoon they meet. The boy didn't know that she cheers up the girl in the middle of nightmares. All he did was smile and greet and talk to her cheerfully. That is why there is no dobt that the girl was "inspired" by that boy.

Time passed, the girl had the strength to prove the people whom she really is and whom she was not. She was finally accepeted step by step and not even one knows how. She kept it to herself as it grows inside.

Well, she told herself that she wants to be like the boy. She wanted to help others by cheering them up and letting them know she will be a friend to them. Actually, the boy himself, even if she considered him a friend, she doesn't know much about him. In short, he was a "stranger" to her.

Well, more time passed and the girl learned more about the boy. He was not so famous among the girls but he was a consistent 1st honor. She also noticed his amazing performing talent and interest in sports. And she still liked him when she reached 6th grade and the boy being the valedictorian of their batch. Since then, they became busy with other stuffs so they failed to communicate but the feeling stayed and still no one knows, not even her own best friends. Well, there may be flaws to other people but she was teased to another person and covered her emotions.

And so, the graduation of the girl was a day before a program called "Celebrate Writing." It ended early but she was not able to go home early as she wait for her fetcher. Actually, there were two who was left, the girl and the boy. They shared moments together and the only difference was to the boy, it's nothing and to the girl, it's something. Then, he was fetched first saying "see you next year?" The girl took a deep breath and said, "I won't be studying here anymore" He blinked and respond with "I see." It was a short conversation and it was the last time she talked to him personally.

The girl graduated the next day and she passed for the school and so she would be away but she still chatted with him rarely about nonsense things that make sense to her. Then, the feeling depleted, it won't do any good. She let time pass but still had the boy as an inspiration but not as much as before. Now, the girl was known to be me, counting the days she doesn't want to count. She knew that the graduating day of the 4th year batch of her school is the same day as the boy's graduation. As usual, he was unbeatably valedictorian. She thought of the possibilities because even a few, she still cares for the boy and she's afraid they'll never meet again afterwards. She knew herself that she will miss the stranger who took her hand and brought her somewhere new that damn cold night.

Life of an Excused Person Part 2

2009-02-10T03:49:00.000-08:00

Well, it's the same as always. Hmm... I should be correcting that. Actually, everything is new! After knowing we top the elimination test then I got high on some of the PT considering the days I attended classes and now, I was shocked to see my card to be so far from how I started the year. Well, everyone got high anyway and so I'm happy for everyone.

Actually, the part two of this is about me and my best friend, Tenten. I was sad to hear that Blezz wasn't included but that's life. Anyway, we had been gone right after the RAT where I felt being an Oxygen for a week with my sister (although in real life we're not sisters) Dianne and my mother (although we all know she's not) Mafi. Well, I couldn't forget the way they accepted me and how they made me enoyed so much with them.

Ehem! Where was I? I was getting farther and farther from the topic. Haha! Though I am more pressured and nervous, I am actually more comfortable and expressive this days. Well, I didn't expect that I would be too casual with this entry but I love typing today, naturally.

It's about 2 weeks we're not in the class and on Thursday, we'll have the contest. To add more pressure, the next week, we'll have the PT! Well, those things are the ones making life exciting. (perhaps I have to prove it first to myself!)

I just want to say good luck to everyone for the excitement we each feel for our lives! Enjoy!

New Year, Newly Entered School and Newly Excused

2009-01-24T23:49:00.001-08:00

This is my first week in school. Well, not exactly, since I was excused for the Math competition. We had only four days left and so the Friday comes. Sadly, I had fever so I am son feeling so well. At least, Tenten, Blez and I managed to go be 1st overall for the third year. I haven't attended classes the next week because of my fever so I got back to class 2 days before the test. I want to repeat that again, TWO DAYS BEFORE THE TEST WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING!!!

Well, actually, my first class day is already the long test in Analytic Geometry. It's not that harsh. No, no, NO! Well, I seriously, I don't know what to answer in most of the subjects. I'm over.

Well, now I'm back after the PT. I was sad because Blezz cannot join anymore. They even called it team if it's like that. Whew! Life's so hard!

Super Grand Slam

2009-01-24T23:22:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been busy this vacation. I have tons of assignment and I have to review for MTAP. Well, I also had quality time with my clan. On the 24th, I spent my days at my father's side family because it's my granpa's birthday. We stayed there for 5 days. I had fun with my cousins especially those from Bulacan.

Then, we had a very happy new year at our house with my family and that's what we do every year though now, my father doesn't anymore buy firecrackers so I guess we were lucky to have our fingers complete. Well, after that, nothing more can replace eating delicious foods. Then, the next day, I had my haircut. I hate it. The only thing I like about it is I spent quality time with my sister which happen only one every blue moon.

Well, it didn't stop there. My relatives at my mother side suprised everyone. They went to our house and we see each other far rarer than spending quality time with my sister. Their reason was my mother needs a visit since she came from the hospital recently. And the one incharge having the 10 siblings of my mother and having my grandma is Tita Gai. We as usual, ate yummy foods and everything was so easy to finish. You can actually count seconds before the 2 gallons of ice cream disappear. Well, we are many anyway, about 40, I guess.

Everything has to end. And so the smiles turned over to something else sooner when we heard they are going home. We had a prayer before they go. At least, I am happy to see my cousins of the same batch and my aunts and also my only niece.

No doubt, the last part of this is about the end of everything but also the start of a new year to me, new hope for me and new everything.

Classes Ends! Vacation Starts Today!

2009-01-03T08:08:00.001-08:00

Well, the title said it all.

We had all the excitement today. We had as usual, a Christmas program in the morning and batch party afternoon. Our section has the biggest trip. We had a t-shirt and we prepared a number, actually, a continuation of the last year's show. We had Betty and Armando, Spice Boys, and everyone else, live! And we didn't have enough time to practice! We had our games but we cut it off soon because we became bored of it and so the bands of the batch continued the show.

After that, we ate our food and well, we were really hungry. We sang together on a karaoke though our voices were louder than the microphone. I had lots of fun with the other years. Well, many gave gifts! I was sad because I'm broke and I can't give everyone. Well, there is one gift I was shocked to receive, a bracelet from a friend whom I haven't talked for a while. No doubt, I missed him so much and there was so fight nor reason for us not to talk at all. He was gone before I can say "thanks." I was too late, I guess but I manage to tell him later on.

Well, I guess I became tired when our section had picture taking. I wasn't in the pictures because I went away for a while. And when we are called on the line, I stayed at the back first. I wasn't happy when everyone I sav was happy but there was no reason to be that way. When someone went to me and told me what am I doing alone at the back, I smiled and he cheered me up in that simple way. Actually, I wasn't cheered simply. In fact, I was so happy and that's a memory for me to remember. Well, if only he knew how much that meant to me.

And that's how my day became complete at my last day of school. Well, I'm expected to go back the next day for GSP so technically, it's not the last day of school. Haha! Well, the vacation anyway is not long enough for me to miss everyone so much but surely, I will.

What If....

2009-01-03T06:45:00.000-08:00

Weeks past and her condition was getting worse. She have been back and forth the house and the hospital bed but there were no change.

Well, December 11 came and Mom gave me money to treat my friends since this time, we can't celebrate at home. Well, it was more than enough but I prefer not to spend it. Instead, I spent my own money. I'd rather save it for next week's expenses so I don't have to bother Mom or Dad about it too much.

About my day, almost no one knows in our room about it except Tenten and Chala, I thought. Until such time when Kuya Shaider pass the window and shouted, "happy birthday!" My classmates looked at me and wondered, "is it my birthday?" Well, it doesn,t matter. The point is that lunch I ate with my friends in Nitrogen and Oxygen and we all went to Seven Eleven, my treat. When I got back from munching a lot, I received a gift from Tenten and Maikka. Although they never forget giving a gift, I was always surprised to received one, especially Maikka when she did not even greeted me and even gave me a letter about me greeting her last on her birthday. I never thought she would not forget that.

When I got home, I was so happy. It was better than any gift and better than any birthday celebration. It was my Mom standing in front of me. She badly wanted to get out from the hospital. Our maid even said that even if Mom was in the hospital, she was always thinking of what we will eat, how are we, what should we have for my birthday rather than take the time to rest. Well, that was expected from her but I think she needs to take more rest since she is not well enough to work.

Well, we aare able to go to church on our Thanksgiving Day and I was literally thankful about it. But it was not for long, Mom was badly trembling the next days. The worst time, we called Dad and he said she is to be brought to another hospital, a better one. She was brought to La Salle and stayed again on hospital bed. I don't like to see Mom to react like that in front of me. I don't want to see her trembling and suffering and I understand she often feel that way. But I also don't want her to see me feeling bad for her. I don't want her to see me cry if she's in bad condition. But I want to comfort her and say "everything will be alright, Ma!"

Seriously, obviously, directly and honestly, I am afraid to lose or even to be away from my Mom. I always distract myself whenever I come to think of all of those "what if" statements. I always get so emotional by my fears of possibilities. Well, I can't avoid them even if I distract myself sometimes because there are times that signs show that they are possible and I don't like it at all.

I heard from the others that she had typhoid fever but if it's true, I don't think it's severe since typhoid fever as I know it is highly communicable but the doctors still let visitors on her room.
More and more days pass and I can't anymore take the time without her and worrying about her until such time a news came.

Mom can go home at last! She still needs a little recovery but I can see she's better the last time I've seen her and I miss her so much now. She has been better each day until such time she reached her full recovery. We are all so thankful.

Midnight Sun

2008-12-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

No! It's not the Twilight version of Edward Cullen's perspective. It's a movie released in early 2000, I think 2001. It's actually a Japanese film also called "Taiyou no Uta" starring my favourite Japanese singer, Yui!

Well, I came to cross over it and I found it interesting so I watched it in the middle of the night in the net. It was about a girl named Kaoru who has XP, an illness of the skin that make it sensitive to UV rays of the sun. She only comes out at night to play her composed songs on the streets. She died at the end but she managed to have an album. It's so nice! I was tearing alone in the living room looking like a silly girl crying in the middle of the night.

Well, I tried to recommend it to my friends but they are not yet checking it out. Maybe they won't find it as nice as how I found it but for me, it's good.

Actually, I want to recommend it to you as well. Look for it! I hope you like it too!

"You Are My Life Now"

2008-12-05T17:51:00.000-08:00

That was the lines of Edward Cullen in the movie Twilight.

Well, I even planned to watch it at November 22 but it was the showing was moved to November 26. The plan came up like this, watch at November 29 after lunch with Shaider, Eugene, Jake and Dianne. Well, that was just the plan.

When that day came, it was totally changed. Eugene wasn't able to go because of research, Shai was sick, Jake changes his mind and Dianne does'nt have a companion. Still, I watched the movie but I ended up with Tenten and Vhil.

Well, we came just in tie for lunch but also just in time for the movie so what we did was to watch it while taking lunch. We bought three sandwiches, 2 big packs of popcorn and 3 big packs of drinks. Yummy!

The movie is good but the book is better, I'll say. Even if the plan failed, I got to go with other friends. We all enjoyed and went home safely.

The others? They watched on Monday. I was the one to plan it and I was the one not there, oh! well.

So Far Away

2008-12-05T17:28:00.000-08:00

I chatted with Jelize recently. We talked about our new likes and dislikes. We talked about changes of past and now. And we came up at the same conclusion, everything has changed, almost.

She introduced me to one of her friends there in Canada. Her name is Oishly and she's a sweet girl. She shares the same interest ow with Jel, Japanese, Korean and Chinese arts and music. I agree it's nice anyway because ever since I liked it as well.

Well, Oishly is from La Union and about a year staying in Canada. She told me that Jel and her are saving for a vacation to the Philippines and she's looking forward to meet Jel's friends. That's great! I am also looking forward to meet her!

At the end, I said goodnight to her and she says good day to me.

Better Person

2008-12-05T17:14:00.000-08:00

I was lying down the bed when silence filled my ear but a tune played in my mind. I called that tune "Better Person" and included phrases describing a "Better Person" and how much I wanted to be one. And when I finished it, my two-week is at its best.

First, I am so happy for us winning the Math Jingle Contest. The choreography is good enough my worthless lyrics. With that, each has a hunded in a PT. My team ended up fourth in Math Quiz Bee brought by.... I don't know. Then, the discussions, the topics are all amazing making the days flow so smoothly. I even passed the Physics test so I get exempted to the PT. Another, I passed the Chem Division Test.

With all of those, I really felt a better person, and I hope it will still last long. I hope it was not just a silly dream because if it was, it will be sad to wake up.

The last stanza of the song goes like this. "Yes, I will be, I'll be a better person, who can withstand, withstand all contrary, with the light shining upon my armor, and my wings as strong as his wings."

Undeservingly Happy

2008-11-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

It was when the board players came and told me to play for chess since Blessille was on a table tennis game. Well, I played but I knew how the game would be much better if Blez will be the one playing.

The game of chess made my schedule hectic since its the most strict time. The game is round robin but with a team score. The players were all awesome, well, except for me. Both Micah Obrador and Alpha Colocado was strait 3 wins except for me. At least, I won once.

The Red Macintosh is the first by 7 points followed by two 5 pointers and followed by 4 points.

Even if i didn't win any games, Red is already the champion. Well, I wasn't supposed to be there but I'm happy that i have been a part of it.

Unexpectedly Enjoyable

2008-11-08T08:42:00.000-08:00

It's table tennis! Yes, it was this intrams when I learned to play it. Well, I was the representative of Red Macintosh for set 2 table tennis girls. I was happy I was not in set 1 because it has a lot of expert players.

Well, the games were long compared to the smasher boys table tennis players. The first game was between red and green and so, the green won. The next game was between blue and yellow and the blue won. The games continued until the Green Acer, Joanna earned 3 points, Blue Vaio, Ate JhaJha earned a point and Red Macintosh with 2 points.

Then, as was announced, the Green Acer was the champion, the Red Macintosh is 2nd, Blue Vaio is 3rd and Yellow Asus as 4th. This is actually exactly inverted of the scores in set 1.

My Father Always Utters

2008-10-10T22:46:00.000-07:00

"It's influence," he always says, "you can have more from it than money can." At first, I didn't understand what he meant. And so, I was continuously searching. Sadly, no answer was seen...

Well, I guess i was to blind, to innocent to not see that "influence" is all around me. It's in politics where officials get trust from people even if they don't know each other personally. It's in entertainment where different stories makes other people believe or change their mind. It's in competetion, technology, culture, it's everywhere.

Well, i did not made mention of one great influence is how people change. When a person, as it grows, environment influences it to change. And some people don't understand this change of some. So why do we change? Because it's important. Change help us adapt in the living of others or even living in our own lives.

Change unstoppable and hard to return to how it used to be. That's why a person should know up to where is the line to be influence and also what exactly is it. Ask yourself first if the influence you're getting will make you a better person or worse.

Now, we both understand...

What a Friend Means

2008-10-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

Perhaps for a typical person, dwelling will never be the same as living if there won't be any friends beside. I agree since I have my own experiences with my very own friends. I realized more and more things as I get more mature. But then, there comes the time when we asks ourselves "What is a friend?"

Friend, like other words, changes its meaning through time. Also, different people define it differently. It's only made up of six letters but its meaning is broader than what we can imagine. Others may define it as companion, while some define it as family. For me, "friend" is a person who can be trusted, who is there when others are in need and understands limitations and comfort even if words are not present.

Well, actually, the reason why I thought of writing this is because exactly right now, I am facing a test of friendship. Problems like what I have is one way of seeing the how strong bonds between friends exist. And I am here present to accept it to prove that the friends that I've known are no lies. I guess it's natural. And after everything, I know in the end, i cam tell myself "I know what a REAL friend means?"

Facing Back the Bridges

2008-08-18T07:22:00.000-07:00

Yes! It's August 15 of 2008 when I returned back to TISC every year to pay a visit. With me is Michy, Pau and Ria Camille all wearing black with our other friends Bea, Dianne, Shaider and Emer.

It was about 11 AM when we went by the gate and so we waited until we are complete. At first, we can't enter because of the guards. Well, they are new in the school and in our time we freely enter so we don't know what to do. We are already giving up until me and Pau decided to enter to the canteen only and buy some drink. We happen to see a teacher we know and she let everyone enter despite the fact that a minute ago, we were just waiting for a ride. So we entered the school and talk to the administrators. The four of us are really excited about it and happy. We talked about our present, past and as well as future lives. The people there were as warm as before.

After that, we went to the canteen to meet the 3rd years, our batchmates and we were like some old students there. Well, that was expected. I was also suprised of the news about them. Well, too bad we were not able to catch up with the 4th years lunch. I guess there's still next time. Times that continuously getting fewer and fewer since they will nearly graduate. Anyway, I'll be happy for them.

On the other hand, we all went the bus, Ria and me to Naic while them to Maragondon to celebrate the fiest. I had a lot of fun!

A Week of Business

2008-08-03T04:44:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well! This week started when the English Club lead the flag ceremony. We found it hard to find for the music and our president is not around when we had it. At least, I am happy it's over and done. It was really hard but it was a lot of fun. Anyway, it did not stop there. We also got busy with cleaning since these visitors arrived. We didn't even had Chemistry and PE because of it. That's why I felt so saved when I don't have my PE with me. Hehe. This friday, we also had classes while the lower years are half day And also, the fourth years are very busy with their UPCAT this weekend. That is the same reason why there are only third years in the meeting of Molecules this Saturday. The lower years were in the field trip and the UPCAT for 4th years. Well, I stayed at school up to three while my brothers are not yet home since they went to the Art contest with Mother, and Sister went to Pampanga. Well, it was really a busy week! A busy wee knot only for me but for everyone!

What Is It?

2008-08-03T04:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it was Monday when I passed the Mathizit answer to a Math club member. It's about 5:40 PM when I passed it. The question was about the angle when the clock strikes 9:53 and i answered 21.5.

Then, the friday of the week, I was called in front again. Hehe! We are actually 3 on the front. The first one to get was from 1st year and the other is from 4th year. Math club says we'll have a certificate about it with the font of our favorite color.

A Father He Will Always Be

2008-07-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

Things happen to our lives unplanned. Neither choosing my father is part of it. But then, I am so thankful I have. And, as I grow, I began to see what kind of person my father is, deeper and deeper. Now, times come when he is far away and I began to think of him as an observant person, supportive father and a leader that has one word.

One time, I looked at him looking at his people's work. He observes every move yet, no words are said. And if he is asked, he can say a lot of things about a certain person. I remember, I see him talk to workers and so, I realized his words are straight making him a good leader of businesses. My father is very supportive. There are times I ask permission to him and as long as I can do it, he does not go against, yet, he gives advise.

I apreciate his actions such as these. Because these things, these traits help us in life. And dad, he is a source of inspiration for all of us in this aspect. I love him as other daughters like me do. Because I won't ask another as he is anyway. A father he was, a father he will always be to me.

First Time? Strike Three!!!

2008-07-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I got three stories today....

1st was about Chemistry. We have a rule that once you got low about the quiz in ions, you will stand or sing or dance. I was one of the lowest this Monday and was asked to stand. The next day, oh! my gosh! I studied hard yet I am once again at the bottom group, I mean bottom alone tis time. That's strike two. I worked hard again to study and luckily, I wasn't the last the third. That's what I thought at first but the next day, it was another strike after all.

Well, this is the second story, afternoon Friday when Tenten and Froiland told me and Justin that we are the contestants for Filipino. I was shocked because I wasn't prepared and they are going to ask us at the last hours. Well, Tenten had to go to Molecules and Froi to the try-out of basketball so we had nothing to do but to agree. I went there without knowing anything since its my first time joining. Well, I didn't take it seriously since Filipino for me is a tough subject. So then, I got 4 points out of ten at the first, 8 out of twenty on the secong and 18 out 30 the third. I was shocked when my name was called as fifth when the flag retreat came. I didn't expect that because I was just guessing the whole time but you know, thank God, it felt good.

I stroke the third this Saturday night in the debut of ny cousin. I wore that silly outfit chosen by my mother. I am not used to wear those kind of things. Well, I was one of those who will give a symbolic gift and tell why so. My mother so early bought already a gift, a glass, i don't know. Well, I was panning on other rhings but what can I do but to think of what to say already. There were other CNSHShians there so I'm a little bit shy that time on how I look. BUt good thing, I said something about that glass. Another thing I'm shy that time was I'm the tallest but I think I am the youngest. Well then, it's over anyway. What an experience! That's all I could say!

Well, full of 1st times yet could end up to the last beat. Yet, it could aso happen once more or even more than once but this is where I learn and this is where everything start a twist in a story.

Digging My Very Roots

2008-07-17T04:37:00.000-07:00

I am Katrina Anne Marc Riman and perhaps, you know that. I have an older sister named Ma. Ann Dominique Riman and younger brothers named Stig Marcson Lance, Marcus Andjerome and Markuz Venedict Riman. We are now in Cavite where Mother has given us birth. My parents are Marcos Riman and Liwanag Cabrera. My father is from Cavite and works as a determined businessman. My mother was born in Makati and is a hardworking housewife. They met in Manila who knew each other as boardmates.

My father's father, Gregorio Riman was the child of Romeo Riman and Macaria Ognes who are housewife and a farmer and all lived in Cavite. My father's mother, Matilde Maloloy-on is from Cebu. Her father, Tiborsyo Maloloy-on was a farmer from Masbate. Tiborsyo's father, Gil Maloyloy-on was a fisherman from the same place. Matilde's mother. Ropina Rosales is the daughter of Banong Rosales, a farmer and Ularia Legaspi, a housewife who all are from Cebu. Gregorio was a farmer and a blacksmith who went to Manila and met Matilde who works as a vendor.

Meanwhile, my mother is the child of Ponciano Cabrera, an OFW originated on Bulacan and Gloria Santos, from Pampanga. Ponciano was the child of Agustin Cabrera, a carpenter and Inang Cabanding who are all from Bulacan. My mother's mother, Gloria, was the child of Tomas Santos, a Filipino Spanish who is a US veteran soldier who originated from Nueva Ecija and Consuelo Cuyugan from Pampanga. Consuelo was the daugther of Gorge Cuyugan and Ropina Santiago who are both from Pampanga.

Each of who are still alive goes to different places and a blood has been carried from our roots. Come to think of it. Each family like I do has come a long way and a long way will it still go.

Scary Week

2008-07-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

Well, this week, we had our periodic test. And I guess, I am not the only one who's writing about it.
The night before, I studied in most of the subjects especially AP. I even made a reviewer of it at home. The next day, I took the tests and I can't answer as if I didn't do anything the night before. It was the same case the next day. After that I just clean and clean and clean the half of the day. It was thursday when we checked most of the papers and well, my scores were mostly low. My mother got mad at me and ended up blaming a lot of things. Well, it's okay. I'm used to it but I don't want to see her mad or feeling bad. Now, I have these new set of papers to be signed and is lower than the last time. I wonder what to do. I don't want her to be mad again.

REACTION:The Making of s Scientist

2008-07-12T19:55:00.000-07:00

As I read it, I realized that this people met different things yet they all find success. They failed on something they wanted but then became a way for them to be where they are right now. THey said that the support of family is important and inspiration from other people as well.
According to the article, it all started when they begun to wonder and got interested on something. They say seminars and special schools are not that essential in sccess but they also help on being successful.

Well, I agree with this.

2008-07-06T07:27:00.000-07:00

Today.

I had a day with my classmates at tenten's house...

it was a very good day....

well i had fun with them having our work done...

we did our work perfectly with justin

...The Click Five...

2008-07-04T20:45:00.000-07:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY~

Hey you
i know i'm in the wrong
time flies
when you're having fun
you wake up
another year is gone
twenty one

i guess you wanna know
why I'm on the phone
its been a day or so
i know it's kinda late
but happy birthday

yeah yeah whoa oh
i know you hate me
yeah yeah whoa oh
well i miss you too
yeah yeah i know
i know its kinda late
but happy birthday

so hard
when you're far away
it's lame but i forgot the date
i won't make the same mistake
it's all too late

now you know
don't hang up the phone
i wish i was at home
I know its way too late
but happy birthday

yeah yeah whoa oh
i know you hate me
yeah yeah whoa oh
well i miss you too
yeah yeah i know
i know its kinda late
but happy birthday

it's not that i don't care
you know i'll make it up to you
if i could i'd be there

yeah yeah whoa oh
yeah yeah whoa oh
well I miss you too
yeah yeah i know
i know its kinda late
but happy birthday

yeah yeah whoa oh
i know you hate me
yeah yeah whoa oh
well i miss you too
yeah yeah i know
i know its kinda late
but happy birthday
to you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~JENNY~

She calls me baby
then she won't call me
Says she adores me
and then ignores me
Jenny
what's the problem

She keeps her distance
and sits on fences
Puts up resistance
and builds defenses
Jenny
what's the problem?

You leave me hanging on the line
Every time you change your mind

First You say you won't
then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
and we're not moving on
We're standing still
Jenny
You got me on my knees.
Jenny
it's killing me.

She needs her own space
She's playing mind games.
Ends up at my place
saying that she's changed
Jenny
what's the problem
I'm trying to read between the lines
You got me going out of my mind

First you say you won't
then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
and we're not moving on.
We're standing still
Jenny
You got me on my knees
Jenny
it's killing me
It's killing me
It's killing me
Jenny

First you say you won't
then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
and we're not moving on
We're standing still
Jenny
You got me on my knees
Jenny

First you say you won't
then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
and we're not moving on
We're standing still
Jenny
You got me on my knees
Jenny
It's killing me
It's killing me
Jenny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WAIT!!! The click five is not the main topic of this post!!!

It's about "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY"

Well it's a Thursday, July the third, when a bright morning sunshine woke me up. I remembered "its her day." How sad I have nothing to give but to greet when i got to school. Actually, 2 of them has a birhday, Ria as well. And more and more people greets them every minute.

Well, the clock hits 11:30, I eat with Dar every lunch. She said that she'll eat with Jenny today so the two of them with Jenna and Ajae walked out together. Dar soon called me over and let me come. I was kind of out of place but I am happy to see the "Jewel Sisters" together. We rode the van of Jenna and went to Mister Donut. She went home with her dad leaving the four of us alone. They ordered spaghetti, sadly only two was left so we went to Buns to buy two more. We went back to Mister and enjoyed the meal while we have our conversations. It was the celebrant's treat. ^^

Well, until the day ends I greeted her. I'm happy and thankful to everyone that day.

"Though it's kinda late but happy birthday!"

An abstract

2008-07-04T20:44:00.001-07:00

Construction sites are major contributors to nonpoint source (NPS) pollution. However, a lack of personnel to enforce erosion control regulations and limited voluntary compliance means that few developers apply effective erosion control.
Research
Problem New approaches are needed to increase erosion control on construction sites if this source of NPS pollution is to be significantly reduced.
Body This study tests whether an economic advantage exists for developers who use vegetative cover for erosion control, independent of advantages gained in addressing environmental or regulatory concerns. Improving residential lot appearance from muddy brown to green grass may increase the appeal of the lot to buyers.
Results A market survey shows that homebuyers and realtors perceive vegetated lots to be worth more than unvegetated lots, and this increased value exceeds the cost of seeding.
Conclusion Thus, developers can now be encouraged to invest in vegetative cover because of the potentially high return on the investment.

An abstract

2008-07-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

The Air (a continuation of the preceeding post)

2008-07-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

I cannot portray it properly but I am pertaining to air in movement or not...

I love it for I can relate to it....

One thing I like abou it is wherever you go, Though you can't see it, you can feel it and you know it's there...... it is the same as what I wanted to be.....

The wind blows freely, it dances to its own music with its own costume.....

It is the reason why seagulls fly and why trees sway. It is one reason that make our world not a boring place.

One more is that the air is what we need to breath though we really don't see that we keep on taking more of it until its gone..... it's like, sometimes what good things it does was not recognized by others until the time it is lost.....

and a lot more.... Its just that I feel like the wind....

"What Am I Living For?"

2008-07-01T05:25:00.000-07:00

"What am I living for?"

There are times I wonder about different things about living. That is where questions start to form in my mind. These questions sort of, keep touching my mind in certain instances.

I once ask myself, "What am I living for?" And from then on, I asked myself the same question...

I am not sure about the reason why exactly I am here. But then, a man normally is afraid of dying for reasons like they don't want to leave anything behind or they don't know what's being "dead" like. They naturally do things according to what they believe about or according to a "does-not-want-to-fail" feeling that let people be scared of consequences. Well then, I can say it is one of my purpose of living. I live to take care and keep not only materials in life but also people whom are important. I live in order to do my duties in life.

"What am I living for?"

Well, it does not end there. Actually, a lot more awaits. I believe, we also live in order to be a part of a whole society on which if one lacks then it's not as complete as before. It means that life is also making a difference within people around you. It is contributing in the society even in our own ways.

"What am I living for?"

As we all know, we also live to improve, to discover more and to experience more and to feel more. We also live to serve ourselves, other people and of course, God. We also live because we are loved by some people and we love others as well. Well, to write all the purposes might not even fit to ten big books. It's just that life is so broad to be explained and no answer is considered right and wrong. Different people see different lives different.

Me? "What am I living for?"

Well, I see myself as a sword that fights for things I believe in and to make my dreams come true. I see myself as an armor to protect things that are important to me. I see myself as a person of unique name, unique personality, unique as I am for each one is different yet similarities are there as well. You see my purpose is to be myself for I can be the only one who can be me.

Too many expalanations yet me, myself does not know what it says. "Purpose" is hard to understand nor to be explained yet answers are revealed as life happens.

It was just now when I thought that maybe, life's purpose is to find an answer to the question where everything started and where everything will end.

To this question....."What am I living for?"

It is How You Play the Game of Life ^^

2008-06-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

Who says that online games are worthless piece of junk and just a waste of precious time? Well, I can't argue with you if that's the case. But then on my side, Online games can also bring you to places you want to go. It may also make you have anything that you want. It can also be your work as a GM. And it may also be one of those precious things that you can't forget....

I was so hopeless until the time i heard them speak.

"Yes, you may go," uttered by my parents the night before.

I was so happy! I slept early and woke up early as well. I fix everything that I'll bring and went to Tanza with Emerson. Michael, Shaider, Paulo, Bea, Eugene was waiting for us there. Then we waited for Jake and Jehno. Dianne went ahead with his father as we rode the van.

Yes. We were the first to came and register. It was the GetAmped National Tournament at the Mall of Asia. Michael was included in the individual category so we are to support him. Well, before we play, we first ate at Jollibee. We need some energy to have a nice game. After eating, we went back to play for free.

Everyone was having fun. And the Hero TV channel was covering everything. I never thought that this is just like what i see on TV when there are some tournament. It felt that good. Well, anyway, we also took pictures. It's my first time to be in this event so I was so amazed.

Soon enough, the National tournament starts. MIchael was about to fight. Well, he started it good. Later on, Dianne was about to go home. Then, computers suddenly experience an online disturbance which we call "lag." Soon, Michy loses and ended up 4th place within the 4 who fought. In the team category, Team Visayaz won 1st, Team Luzon 2nd and MIndanao as 3rd.

Well, that's not pretty bad at all since he reached this far. But we really can't avoid that when someone wins, someone loses. It's how you play the game.^^

Well, 1st price winners received not only a trophy, not only the cash price but also a trip to Singapore to fight for the world festival. They can win up to 2 million pesos. Well, the second received cash price as well and if the 1st can't go to Singapore then he will.

Well, the day doesn't end there yet. I also had a GetAmped joystick because of the raffle and I got the poster of the GetAmped Tournament. I also asked the GMs an autographed- GM Dredd, GM Gabriel and GM Zyn.

I looked at the clock and well, it's past 11 PM. We went to the van. We even fitted even the brother of Froiland and Dianne whom we thought who left was there. I came home pass 12 PM still amazed of what happened.

Advance Statistics

2008-06-23T05:24:00.000-07:00

Problem:
What is the effect of monosodium glutamate to the lives of white mice?

Objective:
To determine the effect of mosodium glutamate to the lives of white mice.

Materials:
10 white mice, monosodium glutamate, 2 cage, water, grains
Procedure: Put 5 mice each cage. Feed the mice in the 1st cage with grains everyday. Feed the mice at the other cage with monosodium glutamate same amount as the grains. Provide each cage with water to drink. Everyday for 5 days, observe changes and record it.

A Breath Away

2008-06-21T04:58:00.000-07:00

Anything could happen in a snap of a finger. Everything can just disappear in a beat. That is what I believe since the 19th of the month when everything seems to be so usual, at first. Well, it was just at first.

Well, it was a quiet night. My brothers and Mom were on bed. They were about to sleep as I stay up doing my school work. I was enjoying the night back then when all of a sudden, the lights turned off. All the power shuts down leaving the laptop on (it has batteries) and I said to myself, "Oh, no! I'm not yet done with my assignments! Why does it have to be brown out?!?" After a few seconds, I heard a sound from the window beside me. It sounds like something was exploding. I looked at it and saw sparks. It was the post near our house. It was like fireworks beside me trying to get nearer. My mother comes out her room and woke my brothers. She was panicking in the darkness as she shouts "Faster, faster! Let's go out the house!" And so, we ran down and go a few meters away while my heart beats so fast and pounding so hard that I cannot chase it anymore. On the way was our neighbors disturbed as well by what happened. They were saying that one house in our place had so much use of their electricity for their business that the post overloaded.

I glanced again at the post and cut wires and it was burning. I was so scared! My mom got the car and let us stay there. After that, she called Dad and called for Meralco. A few minutes later, a police car came. I don't know. Later on, everyone in the neighborhood come back to their houses and us as well. They lie down the bed and continued to sleep while me trying to finish my work with a flashlight with me. Well, I finished it that easy but to sleep was hard. All the sparking was still in my mind and my heart does not stop beating so fast. I tried to lie down the sofa waiting for me to sleep as I say " it's alright, it's alright."

I looked at the window again and saw a vehicle with stairs on it. It was the Meralco! At last, they were trying to fix the post. And then, I don't know how but I slept.

The morning I woke up, I was still sleepy from last night. But then, I was so happy and so thankful that in a breath away, everything was back to normal. We have our electricity back and no one got hurt.

Undeniably Exciting

2008-06-21T04:30:00.000-07:00

Well, with the score of 18 points, the Red Macintosh won by three away from Blue Vaio at the championship of basketball. Charmaine dela Paz, our team captain, together with our team mates won as champion. Blue Vaio won second, Green Acers won third and Yellow asus won fourth.

I did not expect the championships so awaited but a lot of students was there to watch. Many witnessed and cheered adding to the pressure and intensity of the game. Then, the score have reached 16-8 in the favor of red.

We thought the red won't be facing any problems anymore so we were relieved. We realized we are wrong. The blue actually had caught us up. They reached 15 points but the time stopped and I guess it's not enough.

Well, it was something, I am happy we won.

I Can't Breathe

2008-06-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

You know what I need? Air Supply!

On a Saturday night, I celebrated with hundreds of people, some known and some simple, the concert of this famous soft rock duo. Russell and Graham seem to look older than they used to but their voices stayed so sweet. It was the same as how they started their career in Sydney, Australia.

Well, I was there with my Mom, my Dad, my sister and her boyfriend. I was so excited for I've never been to Araneta Coliseum and I've never seen some famous classical singers from other countries. That is why I can say this is the highlight of my week. (By the way, Charice was a headstart. I don't really know who she is.)

"Just as I Am", "Even the Nights are Better", "Here I Am", "Two Less Lonely People in the World", "Every Woman in the World", "The Power of Love" and "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" were some of their original songs that they sang that day but there are more of them. They even sang "Me and the River" which is a new song from them that will soon be released on their next album.

The Guitarist, the pianist and the drummer was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! They play like the modern music with a classic tune. I was so amazed not only how they play the instrument but also by them themselves.

Famous personalities are also there in VIP. Mel Tiangco, Mike Enriquez, and a lot more. Mrs. Imelda Marcos was as well there. They were only a few of all the people who shares the same passion for their music.

And so, the show ended not remembering what time it was. "I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you...." was everyone's words until they all come bowing down their heads to the audience. It was one of my favourite songs from them.

I hope i would have another chance laike this.

Nothing Merely Just Testing

2008-06-10T03:49:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my blog! Well, i just want to test how this works and I still have to learn the basics. More than that, I think that this might be really enjoying. I am so eager about it because I had never taken "blogging" so seriously. And come to think of it, I already have a first entry. May I have more entries to come.

Well, I apologize to say such non-sense things. Actually, I really have to apologize if this whole entry does not concern you at all. Because that is what this whole entry is all about. I don't really know what to say. It's just that my fingers just keep on typing a lot more. But seriously, I can't think of anything to say.

Ahh! I know. How about telling some more about this blog?

"spaceNOTenough" is what this blog called. I might not have such specific reason about having it but this mind of mine tells me "choose this" and I did. "spaceNOTenough" have a lot of meaning to me, you see. It might mean that too much is not good at all. It might also mean the other way around, we will never run out of ideas and space is always there for it. Or maybe, just the plain "too much." I told you i'm not so sure about it but I'm telling you I love it!

So many words to type, I don't know what to choose. Well, anyway, thanks for dropping by. I'm just a newbie so don't you expect a lot from me. I hope you don't get bored with my silly ways of telling stories and my words of my mind, my thoughts and days not to be forgotten.

Now, I am writing the last sentence of this on-the-spot entry though worthless I'm still hopeful you might like it and thank you again.